Should I be submissive to my man? Not a chance! I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to make me happy… Both of these statements are a bit cliche, but submission continues to be a topic amongst modern women. On the premiere episode of “Married To Medicine” season 2, we were introduced to Dr. Heavenly Kimes, a dentist who made it known that she likes to be submissive to her man because it is a man’s role to be in charge.
“Being married to Dr. Damon Christian Kimes is one of my greatest accomplishments, and I take pleasure in serving him,” Dr. Heavenly tells HelloBeautiful. “I am a very successful doctor, who happens to own multiple businesses, is an author, has a real estate license, etc., but I don’t carry over that ‘boss’ mentality into my household.”
Dr. Heavenly stood out amongst her new cast mates because of her beliefs. During a dinner scene on the Bravo reality show, Dr. Heavenly confronted cast mate Dr. Jackie because she assumed Jackie was not as submissive to her own husband as she is to hers.
“Let me be perfectly clear, submission does not mean I’m his slave, actually in the Bible it means to ‘support,’” she says. “Certainly submission does not mean going against my morals. Submissiveness simply means being humble, and engaging in a positive dialogue with your husband. It means maintaining your own dignity, while helpfully cooperating with your husband in building the family.”
So does submissiveness equate to a successful relationship? According to Dr. Heavenly’s prescription book, it does.
The doctor is in…see her tips on how to maintain a successful relationship by being more submissive.
1. Have a hot meal ready for your man when he gets home from work. Let’s face it, I’m a busy woman, and I don’t always have time to cook. But if I don’t think I’ll have the time that night, I’ll have my cook prepare something, or I will pick something up.
2. Don’t be a prude in the bedroom. Of course, I am not encouraging you to go out and have a threesome, BUT keep an open mind to the new things that your husband wants to try. Don’t be so quick to say “no.” Take pleasure in pleasing your man. And please try not to ever go to sleep angry.
3. Don’t be a nag. You don’t always have to have response. As women, we like to give our opinions, often times, unwarranted. It’s OK to not have a comment. Pick and choose your battles if it’s not that important…let it go! Your husband does not want to hear your opinion 24/7, especially when using a loud, high-pitched tone (that some of us like to use).
4. Show him your appreciation. You can catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar. Be kind, and polite to your husband, and he will reciprocate. Show him that you are thankful for all that he does. Make your words soft and sweet. You won’t be disappointed with the results you’ll get.
5. Follow his lead. You married your husband for a reason, right? Hopefully you trust him enough to make the important decisions in your household. Again, don’t go with things that are immoral, or wrong, but definitely always remember to make him feel like he wears the pants.
6. Your career does NOT come first. I have a super busy schedule, especially now that I am a cast member on Bravo’s “Married to Medicine.” However, when I get home from work, I turn my phone off. I am there to get my kids off the bus. Family time is very important to me. I cherish those moments.
7. Look sexy for him. It is so important to look good for your man. Know what your man likes, and what he thinks is attractive. I realized recently that this is MOST important! Try to keep yourself in shape and put together.
8. Let him know it’s OK for him to be stressed. Because he is the man and is expected to take on a lot of things and it can sometimes get stressful for him. Men aren’t always good at expressing themselves when they are stressed or depressed. Let him know that it’s OK to feel that way, and make yourself emotionally available.
9. Marry someone you genuinely admire and find east to respect. When you admire the man you chose to marry, it doesn’t feel like a chore when you’re accommodating him. It will be something you want to do. You’ll want to give him the respect he deserves.
10. Get a support system. Surround yourself with people who are like you, or people who support your lifestyle. There is nothing worse than a friend who doesn’t agree with your lifestyle trying to give you advice. There is nothing wrong with being a submissive wife, and your closest friends should be people who aren’t judging you for it!
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