By Laney Townsend
You want to share your life with someone special, but you’re so busy that you can’t seem to find the time. Sound familiar? Yes, dating is time-consuming, but here’s how to refocus your time so you can enjoy better dates…and more of them.
1. Ask Yourself How Much Time You Really Have To Committ To Someone Else
How much time for dating do you really have? Ask yourself: If you were in a serious relationship with a great man or woman, how much time would you spend together, going on dates, talking on the phone, cuddling. Add it all up…that’s the amount of time you should devote to searching for someone. Most people just don’t make the time to search for love, but they suddenly find that time when they meet the right person.
2. Give Yourself A Reality Check
Most people ask “How can I find time to date?” But for the sake of their happiness, they should be asking “How can I manage my life more efficiently so I can ?” A good reality check is to look around you and evaluate how many hours others are working or doing similar tasks, such as parenting. Are you working so hard to keep ahead of schedule? Then re-evaluate what you can do to maximize your efforts in less time. Do married people leave the office at 6 p.m.? If so, why can’t you? The key is finding a balanced perspective that physically and mentally allows you more time to date.
3. Quit Wasting Time
In real estate, the key word is location. In the dating world, it’s all about efficiency. You have to be extremely vigilant about not wasting your time when you’re looking for The One. Dating efficiently means no dating or flirting with unavailable candidates (even if they’re very cute). This includes married people, people who are already in committed relationships, and singles who really don’t want what you want (such as children).
Romantic efficiency also means not going to a party with three friends and standing in the corner just talking to them all night. Instead, go alone – you’re more likely to meet new people. If your giving online dating a chance, this includes not falling in love with an online fantasy for months; when you connect with someone online who seems promising, meet within two weeks and make sure the reality is as good as the fantasy.
Because you’re busy, you have to constantly monitor that you are putting your limited time to the best possible use. That attitude will help improve your chances of finding someone truly special (and help you balance your overall life, as well).
(originally published May 2011)