1. Cuddle over coitus.
OK, this is not always the case. But there are times when plain old snuggling is just what the Comfort Doctor ordered. Now, Freud might say that spooning with a lover simulates the womb experience and that’s why we like it so much. Who knows? What we do know is this: Everyone from babies on likes a good cuddle. Yes, hot sex can be glorious — a fabulous stress release. But intimacy is conveyed in the cuddle. Master the cuddle and you’ve mastered the heart.
2. Foot massage.
Massages, in general, are to die for and can create sexual energy by themselves. But a good foot massage is in a category of its own. Feet are generally not our best body part. We have a love-hate relationship with them; we make many demands of them and rely on them for many things, yet we tend to mistreat them with bad footwear and maybe standing desks. From your partner’s perspective, feet aren’t an altogether attractive package either. They can have bunions, corns, and be stinky from wearing sneakers all day. An earnest foot rub that isn’t done begrudgingly and lasts for more than 15 minutes melts all the bad stuff away. It is the single most obvious way to say “I love you, all of you, even this sort-of-a-little-disgusting part of you.” How hot is that? (Very hot.)
3. AAA membership.
Things that show you are thinking of your partner and worry about his/her well-being shout “I love you” in an unimaginably sexy way. While surprising your lover with a set of jumper cables as a Valentine’s Day gift is perhaps not a wise choice, getting her a set out of the blue and for no good reason sends the message that you care about her safety.
4. Sending flowers to the office for no occasion.
First, just to be clear: All flowers should be sent to a public place because part of the kick in getting them is having other people know about it. It’s a humble brag that tells people that someone likes you. While flowers sent to the home will win points, flowers for no reason sent to the office is a grand slam on the sexy-ometer.
Little touches sometimes deliver a bigger bang (yes, that was an intentional choice of words) than, well, big touches. When we see a couple holding hands as they leave a restaurant, it makes us smile and wonder why our own husband’s hands are busy fishing for the valet ticket. Brushing a stray hair from her face, brushing arms when you walk next to him — these are all small intimacies that are incredibly sexy.