David and Tamela Mann are one of the cutest couples. They work on some of the same shows and movies
“When I found her I found a GOOD THING and now I truly have favor with God,” David wrote on the pair’s joint Instagram account. “Forever with you just doesn’t seem long enough but I promise I’m going to make the best of our time together I Love you Tamela Mann. #mannandwife #mannsworld.”
“We met in high school,” David says. “A friend of mine brought her (Tamela) to the group where myself, Kirk Franklin and Darrell Blair sang. Tamela thought she was bad and she came to the school to teach us how to sing. Long story short, one day I looked into her eyes and she kissed me on my lips. That is the short version of it.
“I wanted to marry someone that enjoyed and did the same things that I’ve done. We’ve built it all together and that’s really been a great blessing for us,” Tamela previously told CP. “I’m still enjoying my life and marriage. And it’s not a put on, we just sit around day-to-day enjoying each other’s company without all the hooplah.”
After nearly 28 years of marriage, the pair finishes each others’ sentences and you can see in interviews they love to laugh and love to make each other laugh as well. While they speak about genuinely enjoying each other’s company on and off of the red carpet, David insists he does not have to work on balancing his family since he makes them a priority.
“In this industry there’s something that we never balance and that’s our marriage and our family. There’s our marriage and family, then the industry,” David revealed to CP. “We never give anything the same weight that we give our marriage and family because any time you balance something, you give it weight to balance it. Our marriage, our family, our relationship far outweighs anything we’ll do in this industry or in this business.”
When asked about how they keep the flame alive after so many years, especially in the entertainment industry Tamela simply says, “I do things to keep him turned on; it is never a dull moment. I try to give him a different lady- I may try to change my hair color or change up something, especially in the bedroom. I try to make sure he is keeping his eye on me.”
“One day we can try to make love,” David adds. “We hanging off the door until we can’t breathe!”
Tamela continues,”We talk about everything. If something happens, we try not to go to bed angry with each other and whatever upsets me, we talk about it. Even if it takes calming down for a few minutes and then going back to it. We don’t let things fester a long time. We keep it all out in the open and we don’t have any agendas. Everything is together- there are no separate accounts. Everything has both of our names on it. This is how we keep everything open in our relationship so we can always put everything on the table.”
From reproductive rights to paid family leave to sexual and domestic violence, our society neatly categorizes issues where women bear the brunt of the burden as “women’s issues,” turning them into problems for women and women’s rights advocates alone to solve. But this framing couldn’t be more wrong, and only serves to reinforce the practice of victim blaming that is so pervasive in our society.
As we close another Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we can’t help but wonder — where are the voices of the men? Yes, women are overwhelmingly victims of domestic violence, but men are overwhelmingly perpetrators. It comes down to male behavior and conditioning, so preventing and addressing violence requires men to be engaged in this issue, and take action as well. And breaking the cycle of violence starts with addressing how boys are conditioned to model “male” behavior and attitudes.
Young boys who witness violence at home are three to four times more likely to perpetrate acts of domestic violence as adults. Up to 10 million — or every one in 15 — children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90 percent of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. Beyond what children may see at home, they are continuously surrounded by messages and images in community institutions, advertisements, TV shows, songs, and other spheres that reinforce gender stereotypes — such as expectations of the subservience of women, or men exhibiting force as a display of strength — that often correlates with abusive behavior.
It is crucial for men to recognize the impact of their behavior — how it affects their children and those around them, and how it may influence the behavior of others — and take on these issues themselves, without placing the burden on women alone to figure out how to curb men’s actions. It is up to individuals and communities to create systemic change and help men transition from roles as perpetrators or bystanders, to allies and activists. To help men recognize and transform attitudes and behaviors that lead to domestic abuse, community centers and other social service providers should offer workshops that illustrate ways to model respect and promote healthy relationships, as well as mentorship programs that equip men with the strategies and tools to stop abusive cycles of behavior.
One of the first steps men can take in combating violence against women is to question and challenge traditional gender roles, and listen to the voices of women and girls. Everyone has a role to play in pushing back against traditional indicators of masculinity. It’s up to local and community leaders — coaches, faith leaders, teachers, and business leaders — to guide men of all ages to navigate different forms of masculinity and understand that machismo does not mean treating women as property, but treating them as allies and equals. We also need to support women to feel comfortable reporting violence, seeking help, and recognizing indicators of violence in the men in their lives.
Fortunately, there are effective models for making the systemic change required to combat violence. Coaching Boys into Men engages high school coaches to promote respectful behavior among their players and help prevent relationship abuse, harassment, and sexual assault. CONNECT Men organizes workshops, roundtables, and training programs for men of all ages to examine behaviors and collaborate to develop successful methods of intervention that emphasize prevention over reaction when combating violence.
Another program, the Low Wage, High Risk project, engages employers to raise awareness about the effects of gender-based violence in the workplace, and to develop promising practices that prevent and respond to domestic and sexual violence, thus creating role models in the workplace. Addressing this issue at every level—in schools, community centers, and even workplaces—is the kind of approach that leads to the change we need.
With Women’s History Month behind us and April drawing to a close, it’s important to remember how essential it is to continue to talk about these issues during the other 10 months out of the year — not just in March and April. So in the spirit of honoring and advocating for women year-round, call on the boys and men in your life — whether it’s your son, father, brother, coach, teacher, coworker, boss, or partner — to join in the fight to prevent and combat violence against women. Replace the ripple effect of violence with the ripple effect of respect and dignity. Transforming the attitudes and behaviors of just one individual can bring us one step closer to systemic change and a safer, more just and equitable society. We all benefit when responsible men stand in their communities as shining examples of healthy and respectful masculinity.
Linda A. Seabrook is General Counsel for the anti-violence organization Futures Without Violence, where she leads Workplaces Respond to Domestic and Sexual Violence: A National Resource Center, a project funded by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women that works with employers, workers and advocates to develop and implement workplace policies that prevent and respond to domestic and sexual violence. The opinions, findings, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women. To learn more follow @WorkplaceNRC.
Quentin Walcott is Co-Executive Director for CONNECT-NYC, a leading, non-profit training, educational and advocacy organization dedicated to the prevention and elimination of interpersonal violence in New York City on three levels: individual, community, and systemic. To learn more follow @CONNECT_NYC.
Nobody’s perfect, right? Well there’s some truth to that and there is also a big, bold lie wrapped up in there as well. Sometime we fool ourselves into believing age-old myths about relationships that was handed down to us by our parents, friends, pastors, etc. But in reality, 100% can exist for you. I’m no relationship expert, just a brother who’s been in more than a few relationships and have taken the time to learn from them all.
So, with that, here’s three ways you may be settling in your current relationship.
1. You believe that ALL men/women do “x” – Whatever that “x” may be: cheat, lie, cover up, have stinky feet, whatever…if you believe that they all do, then you may be settling for less than what you deserve. Here’s a newsflash for you: not all men or women are the same! Just because your ex did it, doesn’t mean that he/she will either. It sounds simple enough but on of the top three complaints that dating men and women in serious relationships (2 years or more) state that they dislike being compared to previous lovers/mates.
And, just a side note: be careful who you bring into your relationship. You can look at your partner all you want, but if you keep bringing up something that your ex did, you are bringing him or her into your current relationship. Don’t speak them into existence. They are an ex for a reason, leave them there.
2. You’re not happy alone (not in bed) – this can be a recipe for disaster. If you and your partner can’t enjoy a stimulating conversation with just the two of you, then you may be settling. If the only satisfaction you can find is when you have sex, then yes, you are probably settling. Sex can sometimes, (let me take that back)…Sexy can cloud our judgement MOST of the time, and allow us to make concessions for our mate.
So before you get even more “into” him or her, see what similarities you have. Can you just sit in a quiet room together and be content? Can you watch the same shows and enjoy them? Does he/she add to you mentally? If you don’t know the answers to these, find out.
And last but not least…
3. There’s something missing – you don’t know what it is, but him/her looks great on paper, they fit well with your friends, they get a long with your parents, but there’s just something that’s not taking you over the edge. I mean, you like him/her, but you don’t know if your LIKE them like that, know what I mean? Sometimes it’s that gut feeling that tells you move away from something safe into something even better. Don’t confuse this feeling with lust for another person. In fact this has nothing to do with anyone outside of your relationship. It’s solely based on you and your mate. If you feel something just ins’t there, don’t rush it and don’t force it. Sometimes the person is great, but just not that great for you.
The more time we put into a relationship, the more we learn about our partner. Some revelations can be as small as learning that your partner had a sixth finger as a child. But, others can mean finding out something more serious, like learning that your partner has human immunodeficiency virus, more commonly known as HIV.
There are many myths surrounding HIV-positive people and one of them is that it is impossible to maintain a happy, healthy and sexual relationship with an HIV-negative partner. This is not true. If you learn that your partner is HIV positive and you know for sure that you are HIV negative, you are in what is called a mixed status relationship (also known as a sero-different couple).
Here are ways to help keep yourself and your partner safe.
Know Your Status
Communication is key in any relationship. So is knowing and openly discussing your HIV status. Both partners are responsible for knowing the status of their sexual health. It is heavily advised to get tested with your partner and share the results prior to engaging in sexual activity. Knowing your status reduces the likelihood of transmission.
Note: Learning that your partner is HIV positive after you’ve engaged in sexual activity is not solely their fault if you did not take the initiative to protect yourself by getting tested. Everyone should get tested at least once a year. Those with HIV-positive partners (or are at high risk of transmission) should get tested more frequently, around every three to six months.
“Create a safe space to talk about the sexual health of both partners. We focus a little too much on HIV on its own. There are other sexually transmitted infections that can occur. Talk about recent history. Remember that there are resources for both positive and negative individuals. Remember that a mix status couple can have a healthy, rewarding sexual relationship because of knowing each other’s status,” said Alan McCord, the Director of Education for Project Inform.
There are several over-the-counter tests, like OraQuick, that are accessible to those who do not have health insurance. Also, several health institutions and community groups offer free HIV testing during HIV awareness days.
“Being open and discussing status helps normalize risks. I think open and honest discussion about HIV risk and transmission is an important way to prevent HIV and normalize discussion,” said McCord.
Condoms are a very inexpensive and effective way to prevent HIV transmission. But, they must be used properly and frequently (every time). In the event that a condom breaks or slips, there are medications (PEP) that can prevent transmission.
Treatment as Prevention
Treatment as prevention is when an HIV-positive person is on a HIV medication schedule to reduce HIV in their blood stream to undetectable levels. If an HIV-positive person is engaged in medical care every three to six months and taking their medication as directed, they reduce the risk of transmitting HIV to a negative parter by up to 96%, according to McCord.
PEP, or post-exposure prophylaxis, is a prescription drug that helps to reduce the risk of HIV after a possible exposure. PEP can be used for those who are sexually involved, sharing drug equipment, etc. PEP is not a sustainable way to prevent HIV, as it is only used one time.
“In this case, the HIV-negative partner would go to a medical professional and get a prescription for an HIV regimen. Take that regimen as soon as possible after that exposure for 28 to 30 days to reduce their risk of HIV,” explained McCord
Similar to PEP, PrEP (also known as Truvata) aids in lowering the risk of HIV transmission. PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, is more suitable for long-term couples and taken by the HIV-negative partner on a daily basis.
“PrEP is a sustainable way to prevent HIV. There are various international clinical studies in different communities (heterosexual, homosexual, and a small number of transgender women) that shows greatly reduced risk of HIV transmission if the negative person is on PrEP,” said McCord.
With PrEP, the reduced rate of transmission can go as high as 99%.
If you are in a mixed status relationship, it’s likely that your child will be HIV-negative. About one in four children born to HIV-positive mother are HIV-negative, according to McCord. There are many ways to reduce the risk of having an HIV-positive baby.
The most notable way to prevent transmission in family planning is for both partners to be on HIV treatment. HIV-positive mothers are at a higher risk of passing HIV to the fetus and during childbirth. Additional medication during childbirth can also reduce the risk of transmission.
Mixed status couples are advised to only limit condom use during peak fertilization.
Having a supportive medical provider to walk you through family planning is essential for support and education. HIVE, formally known as BAPAC, offers prenatal, preconception and women’s HIV care. They are located in California, but they also offer services outside of the San Francisco area.
You can also call the UCSF Clinical Consultation Center at (888) 448-8765 for more resources.
By Aria Elise –Blackdoctor.org
It’s pretty easy to see that Ayesha Curry is not your typical basketball wife you may see on reality TV spewing out curse words or fighting. She’s too busy for that and that’s not how she was raised. It’s in her religious and creative upbringing that helped mold her into wife and mother she is today.
Not only is she married to basketball superstar Stephen “Steph” Curry, point guard for the 2015 NBA Champions’ the Golden State Warriors, mom to Riley and Ryan Curry, has a popular lifestyle and food blog, Little Lights of Mine, Ayesha is way more than just a basketball wife.
But before all of this, Ayesha didn’t know anything about basketball when she finally went to her first game at the age of 19. Alexander had started dating the star player after meeting him nearly five years earlier at a church youth group.
Ayesha married the NBA superstar in 2011 and since then, the pair has welcomed two beautiful daughters, Riley and Ryan.
“Marriage has given me a little family of my own. We hold each other accountable, love each other and always are there for each other,” she says. “I feel more balanced now because I know what it’s like to care for others. Marriage has given me the gift of compassion.”
Steph may be a busy man, and his wife is too, but she makes it clear that family comes first, no matter where they are in the world.
“I am blessed with a wife that’s willing to travel with me,” Steph told ABC News. “I don’t know what I’d do if she wasn’t able to be there with me to go to different events. I mean, I have a two-month-old daughter and she’s been on 10 flights already … It’s a lot to manage, and we are still learning as young parents.”
“We travel as a pack, our little wolf pack,” she said, adding that when she’s filming her food demonstrations or writing her blog, there’s most likely, “a baby hanging off me or Riley is sitting at my feet playing.”
Plus, “Steph is the most hands-on father. He manages his life and his day with so much humility, I’m just lucky to have him as my husband.”
While her husband is putting in work in the gym and on the court, Ayesha has basically created a brand for herself in the kitchen.
“After having my daughter, I kind of made a career change, and so I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do where I could be home with her and still have something for myself,” says Ayesha. “My main reason for doing all of this, is that I felt like at the time being a mom and being a wife wasn’t considered cool, and maybe it was a little bit looked down upon.”
Ayesha’s latest venture includes a collaboration with TJ Maxx, but in typical Curry fashion, it’s not just about promoting the brand, but more importantly promoting women.
“We are trying to shed light on the fact that all women and all mothers are remarkable,” she said. “We did a study and it came back that only 19 percent of women saw themselves in this light. The rest think they are just average.”
“Before becoming a mom for the second time this summer, I also considered myself average,” she continued. “That is something we all need to change.”
Young Riley does not have a clue of the star she has become when her father decided to bring her to a post-game press conference back in May during the NBA Finals.
“And that’s exactly how we’d like to keep it,” Ayesha explained. “She already has so much personality, if she caught wind of this, who knows what would happen.”