Before I got married, I would take time to pray over my future wife, and there were specific things that I prayed. It is during that time I learned the most important qualities that I desired in my wife.
Every man of God has certain qualities they find irresistible in a woman of God. Whether you are an unmarried man in need of discovering what you should look for in a wife, or a unmarried woman curious to know what qualities a man of God is searching for…this is for you!
1. A woman of God who values honor.
A woman who fearlessly honors others, values herself. To honor someone means to esteem them or show high respect. A woman who demonstrates this reveals her heart for people. Honoring up, down, and around is the rule to follow.
Honoring up means respecting those who are in authority over you, being able to accept their role and submit to their leadership. Honoring those below you includes those that look up to you, or work underneath you. Honoring those around you is respecting your friends, family, and colleagues. You know a woman who honors by the words she speaks to those closest to her. Finding the gold in someone is easy because they only desire to build that person up rather than tear them down. A woman who values honor adds value to everyone around her, which makes for an irresistible woman.
2. A woman of God who is interdependent.
A woman who is interdependent is not solely dependent on others, nor is she solely dependent on herself, but understands she needs others to thrive in life. When we come out of the womb, we are fully dependent on our parents, and the goal is learn how to do life
This quality is best seen in those that aren’t too prideful to ask for help or support, and are able to do the same for others. Every husband feels esteemed when their wives depend on them, but they treasure a woman they can depend on as well.
3. A woman of God who has identity.
A woman who knows who she is, and what her identity is in Christ will not be found falling into the traps set by the Enemy. When a woman’s identity is in Christ there are a myriad of things that will follow such as: confidence, consistency, resilience, humility, ability to change, and loving unconditionally.
When talking with my other male friends who are married and some still unmarried, they each said this was one of the most important qualities that drew them to their wives. This quality keeps you from competing, being jealous, or intimidated by others.
4. A woman of God who is a lover of God.
A woman who is a lover of God has not only found God, but has been found by God. She knows His heart, and He knows hers. This level of relationship requires grace, discipline, and sacrifice. When the bible says in John 14:23, “Anyone who loves me will obey my commands”, He is talking about lovers of God. A woman who loves God, bears the fruit of it by obeying Him. This quality is one that draws and keeps a genuine man of God. This was the quality I prayed for in my wife more than any other. I knew if she was a lover of God, then everything else would fall in line.
5. A woman of God who is holistically beautiful.
The term, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is very true because everyone sees beauty differently. 1 Peter 3:3-5 eloquently states, “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”
As I am writing this, my wife is sitting next to me, with no make up on, in regular clothes, while wearing a baseball cap. She is still the most beautiful thing my eyes have seen because it is her inward beauty that fills the cup, and her outward beauty that causes the cup to overflow. I am not advocating to neglect your outward appearance for it is in a woman’s outward beauty that she is able to embrace and reflect herself as God’s creation.
Jamal Miller is the Co-Founder of Married and Young.com, a community committed to doing relationships God’s way, alongside his wife Natasha Miller. He has been involved in Pastoral Ministry for over 8 years, graduating from Christ for the Nations Institute with his Practical Theology Degree and Ecclesia College with his Bachelors in Christian Leadership.
April 22, 2015 //
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