Got all the tricks and skills in the bed.
When he’s finished, he uses his other head.
I know he rides you like a horse and shouts.
Until his desire for you is played out.
If a Man is inclined, he needs someone wholesome to sooth his mind —
To raise his children, to entrust his heart.
For that is what a true man is looking – from the start.
Not some boobs and some skin.
Girl, Don’t play your self, cheap; play to win.
What The Lord gave you is Black Gold and Diamond Mines.
Don’t give it away at the drop of a dime.
In a free for all – that’s a woman most foolish call.
Can’t you understand the message in Adam and Eve?
If you demoralize the woman, there goes society.
What you didn’t know before can’t worry about honey.
We’re here to learn, every mistake has a lining that’s sunny.
When you meet a new prospect this time,
STOP! Don’t even try to be clandestine,
Learn to love yourself, reprogram, internalize and define,
Your real needs and true role that fulfills a life refined.
I had a grandmother, a maternal grandmother. She was truly someone special. She didn’t have flashy clothes; she wore her hat when she had to go to town to attend to business and on Sundays. She taught school back in the South in the early days, in what was more likely a one-room schoolhouse.
She married late because she helped her mother with her siblings. Her mother was full-blooded Cherokee and had lost two husbands. They left her a farm of just about 300 acres and eight children to raise. My grandmother was from the first set of children.
Her father was half Cherokee and half African American. Her mother’s second husband was full Cherokee. On his deathbed, he told his wife that Jeffie, which was my grandmother’s name, was the best child she had, which meant a lot because she was not his biological child.
My grandmother didn’t smile all the time and she didn’t talk much. She was very pretty and had long, wavy, black-black hair. She always wore it in a bun or braided it in two braids. I always saw her working – in the kitchen, in the garden, sewing and making quilts in her leisure time on the farm. In Chicago, she did day work. That was the way it was in those days.
Her husband was an alcoholic. After years of struggling with that situation, she left and went back to the farm. She must have been about 29 or 30 years old when she married my Grandfather Aysah, a foreigner.
Many women could not understand why an architect, tall, dark and handsome would marry a divorcee with children who didn’t embellish herself as she could have.
I don’t remember her telling me she loved me, but there is no doubt in my mind that I was loved and I loved in return. We had a special relationship. We had a bond that provided me with a security about people and life.. I had a fear of displeasing her.
A verbal reprimand from her would bring me to a crying outburst second to none. She never had to spank me. She never cursed or even said mean things – only a word to the right. When she spoke everybody listened and was afraid not to acquiesce.
She is my example of womanhood as women are the example in society. My mother worked and I was left in her care for the formative years of my life. It is what shaped my identity. My mother was there but was preoccupied with stabilizing her life because of the separation from her husband.
This is what my Grandmother told me one day when we were cutting potatoes. I found a black center in one of them and I tried to cut around it and saving the outer parts not affected. She shook her head and said, “When the center is bad, the whole of it is bad.”
I found that to be true with people as I grew up in life, especially women. When you find a family with a bad woman, she seems to taint everything and everyone in the family because she is the heart (center) of the family.. It doesn’t matter if the woman comes form the best of families or the worst.
If the woman is a good woman, the children and the family come out very well. Her breeding is not the final determiner; it is her heart – but she must be taught and be willing and humble enough to learn. Having an ignorant woman at the center of one’s family is almost as dangerous as having a corrupt one.
A good man can also augment the family and a bad one does diminish a family condition; but not like a woman. In many cultures, the woman a man marries is decided by the family or at the very least, she must meet their approval. It is a crucial choice. They do not leave it to a young man in his prime, to choose a woman, when 80% of the blood is abandoning his brain for his lower parts.
As a good woman will bring good to a family, see them through some of the most abominable situations with her sacrifice, love and strength. This is a word to the wise.
August 17, 2012 //
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