By Madame Noire
With all of the problems in this world — along with the mistakes each of us make throughout our life — the need to forgive arises almost daily. However, forgiveness is often misunderstood an often not properly applied. So it’s a good idea to understand what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. It can bring you and those you loveto the light of a new day!
Conversely, a lack of this knowledge can hurt relationships in terrible ways. The symptoms of such hurt may take form in a wide variety of negative characteristics, most notably bitterness, envy, pride, and lust; though whatever symptom arises, it results in broken relationships. To stay away from such relational disaster, we must learn how to rightly forgive. Let’s take a look at what forgiveness is all about.
Forgiveness Does Not Excuse Behavior
This is an important point; especially when you want to forgive someone for a great injustice. We must realize that granting forgiveness does not mean that the injustice wasn’t grievous. When someone apologizes to you, have you ever responded, “It’s OK”? I know I have. That’s normal to say when you’re dealing with minor infractions. But when someone abuses, cheats, lies, steals, etc., these things are not simply “OK”, just because someone apologizes for them. In these situations, things may never be OK again between you and that individual… but you can still forgive, while knowing that what they did was wrong, and that it may bring consequences. This brings us to our next point.
Forgiveness Does Not Negate Consequences
Let’s say I lie to my wife, but then feel guilty and apologize for lying. While she may forgive me, it doesn’t mean that she trusts me. The natural consequence of my action is a loss of trust; therefore, for my wife to trust me again, I must earn her trust back. This has to do with justice, which can be pictured as an evenly balanced scale. So, if I broke trust, I must earn trust. If I was to break the law, I may still have to do the time for my crime, even though those I victimized may have forgiven me.