Nobody’s perfect, right? Well there’s some truth to that and there is also a big, bold lie wrapped up in there as well. Sometime we fool ourselves into believing age-old myths about relationships that was handed down to us by our parents, friends, pastors, etc. But in reality, 100% can exist for you. I’m no relationship expert, just a brother who’s been in more than a few relationships and have taken the time to learn from them all.
So, with that, here’s three ways you may be settling in your current relationship.
1. You believe that ALL men/women do “x” – Whatever that “x” may be: cheat, lie, cover up, have stinky feet, whatever…if you believe that they all do, then you may be settling for less than what you deserve. Here’s a newsflash for you: not all men or women are the same! Just because your ex did it, doesn’t mean that he/she will either. It sounds simple enough but on of the top three complaints that dating men and women in serious relationships (2 years or more) state that they dislike being compared to previous lovers/mates.
And, just a side note: be careful who you bring into your relationship. You can look at your partner all you want, but if you keep bringing up something that your ex did, you are bringing him or her into your current relationship. Don’t speak them into existence. They are an ex for a reason, leave them there.
2. You’re not happy alone (not in bed) – this can be a recipe for disaster. If you and your partner can’t enjoy a stimulating conversation with just the two of you, then you may be settling. If the only satisfaction you can find is when you have sex, then yes, you are probably settling. Sex can sometimes, (let me take that back)…Sexy can cloud our judgement MOST of the time, and allow us to make concessions for our mate.
So before you get even more “into” him or her, see what similarities you have. Can you just sit in a quiet room together and be content? Can you watch the same shows and enjoy them? Does he/she add to you mentally? If you don’t know the answers to these, find out.
And last but not least…
3. There’s something missing – you don’t know what it is, but him/her looks great on paper, they fit well with your friends, they get a long with your parents, but there’s just something that’s not taking you over the edge. I mean, you like him/her, but you don’t know if your LIKE them like that, know what I mean? Sometimes it’s that gut feeling that tells you move away from something safe into something even better. Don’t confuse this feeling with lust for another person. In fact this has nothing to do with anyone outside of your relationship. It’s solely based on you and your mate. If you feel something just ins’t there, don’t rush it and don’t force it. Sometimes the person is great, but just not that great for you.