Friends–a topic that has become quite the discussion now a days. It’s like you can’t get on any social media platforms without seeing statuses, memes, and other posts about “friends”. But what is a friend really? I mean technically speaking we add friends to our platforms every. But what makes a real friend a real friend.
I must say. It seems to vary person to person. Some people believe friends are the people who make time to see you the most. They are the ones that go with you wherever you go. They party with you, celebrate you, and stick up for you. For me, personally, I believe friendship is a very difficult topic. Granted I’ll be 30 years old this year, I’ve experienced quite a bit when it comes to friends.
I remember growing up with friends playing, shopping, and studying together. We even went to church together. In school we passed notes in the hallways to keep constant contact with friends and attending after school activities with my crew. We were close. We told each other everything and no one could tell us anything different about our friends. We were tight.
But then we graduated and life hit us. Some of us had babies. Some of us went off to college and some of us moved out of our parent’s house and went right to work. Our responsibilities changed. Because of that many of us changed. Our views changed. Our perspectives changed. We had priorities that needed to be taken care of so the free time we once had was gone. We began not to have much time outside of work-life balance to just kick it. But even then we were still good friends.
As life goes on it seems so easy to get lost in the sauce, not acknowledging your closest friends at times. None the less, if you love your friends there’s a need to let them know. One thing I’ve noticed about myself if I’m being honest is that I’m not the best with friendship that are high maintenance. I find myself losing friends when I can’t make it to special occasions or if I don’t text/call them enough.
I must say, it saddens me because I know that whatever impression my absence gave was not the impression I was going for. And because of that I apologize but most times it’s too late and not enough. Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt in your heart that your relationship with a certain friend was still the same but when you finally got around to talk to them it was clear that the relationship had been altered?
This is difficult because it’s typically the people that I love the most but my failure to display that affection lessened the value of it towards the other party. Well, I did some research on friendships and I found 8 ways to become a good friend after reading a few articles. Let me share them with you.
1. Be real.
Authenticity and realness is essential. You don’t want to be a “yes men”. You want to be transparent with your friends at all times. Relate.
2. Be honest.
Honesty and truth is what your friends want from you. If your friends really know you they also know when you’re lying or hiding a truth. Trust me, I can attest.
3. Take an interest in the details of your friend’s life by being a good listener.
Listen to your friends. Sometimes it’s not about your two cents. Just be present and process what they are telling you before you speak.
4. Make time for your friend.
Oh the struggle is real here. Some friends have to be reassured that they mean something to you and have a place in your life. Not taking the time out to talk or kick it with friends can turn into a major altercation. Not every friend needs this but give it to the ones that mean the most.
5. Keep their secrets.
Just because you and your friend aren’t on the same page at the moment, that doesn’t give you the right to share their business and darkest secrets under any circumstances.
6. Encourage your friend.
Positive vibes are everything. Don’t be the friend that only calls your friends when you’re going through and need help. It gets exhausting continuously exercising your friend-right just because they will listen. Be determined to send positive energy their way.
7. Be loyal to your friend.
Show your friends that you’re loyal in their face and when they aren’t around. No one wants a friend that will let other people speak badly or do harm behind their back. Be consistent.
8. Be willing to work through conflict.
Every true friendship has its ups and downs. Friends aren’t always happy with each other and that’s fine. Know the difference between a friend that needs to be cut off and one that you just need to be a little more patient with.
I’m taking these tips and running with it. If you find yourself having real friend issues, I suggest you do the same.