Recently, I was listening to a Bishop T.D. Jakes teaching and he was talking about success. He was discussing how important it is to have the right people around you. He talked about the atmosphere of success. Your spaces has to be conducive for success.
He said that there’s 3 people that you need in your life.
People who need you.
These people give you purpose. Jakes says to think about how we value a product: “What good is a product if nobody needs it? Need determines value. Supply and demand.” It’s important to have people who make you work harder. You need the people that drive your to work, achieve and be consistent. These are people you help, people you train or teach and people you lead.
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This makes sense. I think about my son and sometimes my family. I think about how I don’t want him to grow up the way I did. I don’t want him to have those same experiences on any level. He truly keeps me going.
People who feed you.
Just as there is a demand, there must also be a supply. “If you have a certain amount of people in your life who need you, you must have a certain amount of people in your life who feed you,” he says. “Because if you only have people who need you and nobody who feeds you, pretty soon you’re going to go bankrupt and self-implode because none of us are infinite. The flow of what feeds you has to be commensurate to the flow of what needs you. You’ve got to have both.” These people are mentors, loved ones, faith leaders, and others whom you can lean on and learn from.
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This reminds me of an analogy I always like to use when a friend may be feeling overwhelmed with the people around them. When friends tell me that they’re plate is full and it seems like everyone needs them for something, I tell them it’s time to evaluate. When you’re a person of value, you attract all kinds of people that have all kinds of things going on, whether it be family, work, or finances. When people find you to be a person that adds to their life in a positive way, you have to evaluate them to.
I say, “every time your phone rings, picture yourself at that bank—either the person on the line wants to make a deposit or make a withdrawal.” “You need to know which one you can handle at the moment and keep track of whether when you talk to this person, is this a positive or a negative conversation. Does this person feed you or take from you consistently?”
People who want to keep you.
Jakes says that there’s a third category that most people overlook, being just as important to your well-being as the people who need or feed you: The people who you enjoy and who enjoy you. “They’re just crazy and fun to be with, you know? I’ve got some friends who I’m not going to learn a dadgum thing from—they’re just crazier than all get out. We’re going to talk about some things I hope nobody is recording and we’re just going to act a fool. It’s like going to Hawaii to go to lunch with somebody like that. You might not get to Hawaii, but if you could get to your crazy friend, you’re on the beach and your mind gets a rest. It is neither being drained nor fed. It’s a type of rest for you.”
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Oh how I overstand what he means. We need those people that can hold water and keep you laughing. Laughter has been statistically proven to be good for the soul. You need people in your life that you can just trust. You need people to bond with and people to talk to about anything. These people truly are just as valuable as the others.
Jakes says as a leader, you must live in the middle of that trinity of influencers to stay healthy, happy, and productive. “Every great person and every person who inspires greatness must live in that prism of those three influences.”
What are your thoughts?