By Tyomi Morgan –Blackdoctor.org
A sexless marriage or relationship can lead to complications inside the bedroom and out, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes a relationship can experience slumps in sexual relations when one partner loses interest or desire, and more often than not women are usually the ones that place a hold on relations for various reasons. In my advice giving I come across many men who seek out my expertise in helping their ladies become interested in sex, and the techniques that I recommend are usually the same. If you are a man looking to help strike up desire in your relationship, here are a few of my simple techniques to get you started.
Make her feel safe.
She may sleep next to you on a nightly basis but she may not feel safe in expressing herself sexually when it’s time to bring out her freaky side. Upbringing, religious beliefs, past trauma and a lack of confidence can cause a woman to become closed off in the bedroom. If a woman doesn’t feel safe, her sexual energy will remain at a resting state and her body won’t open up. Create an atmosphere of safety and give her permission to open up and let go. Sometimes a simple word of permission can change the mood from hostile to relaxed. Let her know that it’s okay to unleash her freaky side with you. Make her feel safe and she will open up like a flower. If past trauma is getting in the way, suggest seeing a counselor together to help with healing and moving past old wounds.
Bring back romance.
Sometimes a woman can show a lack of interest in sex because of a lack of romance. Men don’t always need romance to be ready for erotic play, but women respond better when adoration and a bit of finesse are added into the mix. Make her feel special by setting up a romantic dinner, or by running a bubble bath accompanied with a little dessert and champagne. Romance in the midst of foreplay will help with getting her into the mood.
A candle lit massage with soft music and cuddling are great ways to help her relax from a long day and to make the switch from working woman to loving and engaged wife. It takes women longer to get into the mood than it does for men to be charged up and ready to go. Daily responsibilities can inhibit a woman’s libido from reaching a point of climatic plateau, so help her unwind from the day and approach her with romance before sex.
Buy her sexy little things.
Men in long term relationships commonly complain about their ladies showing a lack of effort in dressing sexy in the bedroom. Daily activities of working, parenting and even finishing out studies for a higher degree can leave a woman feeling exhausted and less enthusiastic about getting into a sexy mood. Women love gifts especially when they are bought with her interest in mind. Help her become inspired to dress sexy during intimate moments by surprising her with a sexy lingerie set accompanied with instructions. Taking the lead in striking up desire can remove the stresses of having to be sexually accommodating from her while she unwinds from the stresses of the day.
Talk to her about her needs.
Men can tend to be very demanding when their hormones are raging, but the most important thing to remember is that the woman must be comfortable and her needs must be met in order for sex to be completely satisfying for both partners. Take the necessary time to learn about what she needs from the sexual experience to ensure her satisfaction is put first before all things. What are her turn on’s? What gets her to that point of no return? What are her favorite positions? If you haven’t taken time to learn these things make the time. Having regular conversations about sex can help with striking up desire more frequently.