We all know Tina Knowles-Lawson as the strong, black woman who is mother to superstars Beyonce’ and Solange. Recently, Tina sat down with T.D. Jakes on his talk show to talk about life after divorce. The superstar mom shared that life was not easy after 33 years of marriage to Matthew Knowles.
In the video above, she explains that picking up the pieces after a divorce, even for a successful mom who was pushing her 60’s, was hard. Here’s how she made it through.
“When you’re getting a divorce your self esteem gets so low,” confesses Tina. “You say ‘I’m not young anymore. I’m not cute. I even doubted my intelligence. So I had to get myself together, because Richard wouldn’t come into my life if I wasn’t ready.”
“I have always believed in life after divorce. But, there was a time where I had my doubts,” explains Tina. “I was 59 years old and I was working and doing all these things and I didn’t believe that I could meet someone. So I started off loving myself.”
From Tina’s words, we crafted the top three tips for those of you who are also thinking of moving on after your marriage ended.
1. Be Accountable.
No one likes admitting their faults, but in order to make your next relationship work, it’s important to reflect on why your marriage didn’t last. That means asking yourself the tough questions such as, “What role did I play in our divorce?” and “Is there anything more that I could’ve done?” It’s easy to blame your ex for everything that went wrong in the marriage, but being honest and owning up to your own mistakes shows maturity. Expect to shed a few tears during this one. Divorce is painful and it’s going to be an emotional roller coaster for the first few months, but over time, you can and will love again.
2. Spend Some Time By Yourself
We hate to break it you, but rushing out the day after your divorce isn’t going to do you much good. Broken bones take about six weeks to heal. Broken hearts? Not so much. Take this time for you. Now, however long that takes is up to you. Just make sure you’re completely healed before you start dating again.
3. Take Your Time
After getting out of a marriage, it’s only natural to want to find someone new right off the bat, but that’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make. This is your chance to date around to compare what you like and what you don’t like until you find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Don’t expect that special someone to enter your life every time you leave the house. It may take weeks, months or even years, which is completely fine. Hey, chances are, you didn’t find your ex-wife or ex-husband overnight either, right?