Kisha Shanks
Kisha Shanks may be young by some standards, but she has managed to cram a lot into her lifetime. She’s a mom, an entrepreneur, a victim turned survivor, and she’san advocate—determined to make a positive impact on the quality of life of children and families in Milwaukee.
Shanks was born in Milwaukee to teenage parents and while her mother remained in her life, her father was mostlyabsent. Primarily raised by her grandmother, she attended school in Milwaukee until the third grade, and then she enrolled in the Wauwatosa School District, graduating from Wauwatosa West. She also attended UW-Milwaukee, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in community education and later, she attended UW-Madison, earning a certification in infant, early childhood and family mental health.
Shanks worked in corporate for a while, but she grew restless and was dissatisfied with her career path.
“Nothing really clicked for me in corporate. I didn’t feel as if I was giving back or making an impact. You hear so many negative things about kids and see people shaking their fingers at parents but no one is working with parents. Parents don’t have any support outside of public assistance. My mom was young, but she had my grandmother. My grandmother was always there for me. She was my anchor and largely responsible for who I am today, and I recognize that a lot of parents today don’t have the kind of buffers that I did in my grandmother,” said Shanks.
“The things that my grandmother instilled in me help me a lot. She is largely the reason whyI am able to sit before others today and do what I do. Many people don’t have what I had, and I try to give them that. That’s how and why I got into this line of work,” she said.
“I love kids and have always loved them. Initially, I wanted to become a neonatologist, working with premature babies, but practicing medicine wasn’t for me. I wanted to be more involved in children’s lives, and not just treat them,” she said.
Through social media someone reached out to Shanks, asking if she would be interested in employment that entailed family home visits.
“I did this for a while, but quickly realized that I was in over my head. Many of the mothers I met with had needs far greater than free diapers could ever meet. People were hurting and needed access to mental health services and more. I didn’t think I was qualified to give them the help they needed, so I returned to school, enrolling in UW-Madison for an Infant Early Childhood and Mental Health Program that was recommended to me.
“I learned so much about babies, how they communicate, how their brains develop, the importance of those early relationships and how those things collectively impact their behaviors. That’s been the driving force behind my work ever since,” said Shanks.
Shanks founded and has operated Infinite Family Solutions for the past eight years and has been working independently for the past four years.
“I work with families to cultivate strong family relationships, and foster better relationships between parents and their children. I also provide trauma-informed, parenting education and early childhood development education, aimed at reducing toxic stress and trauma during early childhood.
“A large part of the work I do revolves around helping pregnant women and mothers with newborns. The support I provide centers on helping moms with their socio-economic condition, the environment in the home and their health beyond ensuring they attend doctor appointments, all with the goal of achieving better pregnancy and life outcomes. A large part of this work is rooted in their mental health and the quality of their relationships,” said Shanks.
Shanks is a three-time sexual abuse survivor and a domestic abuse survivor. She is a single parent as well, so she frequently shares her life experiences with the women she seeks to help.
Shanks works with clients, one-on-one and in group settings. Most of her client referrals come from health clinics, caseworkers, Child Protective Services, and through word-of-mouth from other clients.
“Sometimes I see parents, moms-to-be, or families in stores and I walk up to them, strike up conversations, and find out that they need help.
“I’m in the home with families, so I get a chance to experience life through their eyes, learn about them and their family dynamics; it’s up close and personal. Establishing relationships is at the core of what I do so, I try to establish strong, personal relationships with my families. I care about them, and they know that I will be truthful with them. I am also able to refer them to other services if they need things beyond the scope of what I’m able to provide.
“If moms want to go back to school or get a job, I’m able to guide them through that process. I am able to assist with anything that puts them in a better position to raise a happy and healthy child. Once I become involved with a family, I’m able to work with them until their youngest child is seven years old. It’s a Medicaid benefit, so the services I provide are free to families as long as they are receiving Badgercare or Medicaid. I’m able to watch and monitor their progress. It’s rewarding to see them make positives changes and to see them excited for themselves,” she said.
Shanks admits that because she becomes attached to the families, working so closely with them also can become very emotional at times.
“I see families in some of the most unthinkable situations and my heart aches for them and the kids involved. I don’t judge them because I know that none of these families are in the position they are in because they chose to be there. Most of them are doing the best that they can with the information, knowledge and resources that they have at the time,” she said.
Shanks is a staunch proponent of seeking professional help to become or remain mentally and emotionally healthy. She is glad that the stigma that was once attached to this is being removed—particularly in the Black community.
“I see a therapist myself because I’ve experienced my own trauma and sometimes others’ situations become a trigger for me. I also try to stay grounded, prayerful and keep God at the center of everything I do. My work has a larger purpose; God has placed this on my life. I also do yoga, cook, travel as much as possible, listen to a lot of music and spend quality time with my daughter, Amira, to help keep me centered,” said Shanks.
Shanks cherishes the relationship she has with her daughter.
“She is my biggest blessing in life. In many ways, she saved my life. She came along shortly after my grandmother passed. The void that I felt was like losing my mother and I was headed down a dark path. Shortly after she died, I got pregnant. I wasn’t married to Amira’s father, but my daughter became my reason for living. My life pretty much became about her and being a good mother to her. I let her dictate what she needed and what being a good mother looked like to her. She is my “why”,” said Shanks.
Shanks believes that a promising future is on the horizon for Milwaukee families.
“I’m beginning to see a shift as we talk more in our community about mental health. More people are addressing their trauma and people are beginning to heal from that. I specifically notice a shift among Black women and that’s going to be the catalyst for the greatest change. Women are the ones raising children and society tends to follow our lead—they may not say it, but it’s true. It took a long time for us to get into this state of despair, so it’s going to take a while to get out of it, but I see it beginning to happen and I’m thankful to be a part of the change. There’s a better way to parent. It’s okay to love on your children, speak great things over their lives and still hold them accountable. As more people do this, society is going to shift.
“I’m very committed to the families that I work with. I consider them all to be extensions of my own family. This work that I do is so precious, critical and necessary. It’s not something I can do alone. I try to be an example to my clients. I don’t talk ‘at them,’ but ‘to them.’ I listen. I’m very open with them about my life. I haven’t always been the most academically inclined person, even though I was smart. butI didn’t like school mostly because I was bullied. There were teachers and even my own father told me once that I would never amount to anything. Thankfully, I never believed those things about myself. I was fortunate to be able to experience other cultural spaces and to see other, positive things in my life. Everyone doesn’t have those opportunities. That said, I will always do what I do, with the compassion that I do it, until I take my last breath,” said Shanks.
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