By Tyomi Morgan -blackdoctor.org
It is of no surprise to me that the average couple only spends one to four minutes on foreplay before jumping right into the penetration portion of intercourse, considering we live in a day and age where everything is quick, on the go and instant. Somewhere through the decades, we have lost sight of what foreplay is really for. We’ve substituted it with quick, lackluster oral stimulation and saliva to lubricate, but did you know that foreplay is what turns women on and ensures a lasting sexual experience? Let me explain…
Men are easily aroused by sight and sound and can become erect and ready to enter within three minutes. However, it takes women a bit longer to become stimulated and ready to be penetrated (anywhere from 10-15 minutes). Foreplay is a set of physical and mental acts that help ignite the desire for sex, as well as help lower inhibitions in your partner to help you gain his/her trust. When a woman is stimulated before actually being penetrated, her vagina will produce secretions that will help lubricate the area to reduce friction during movement, and her cervix will widen and recede further back toward the uterus to allow a better fit for the penis (the vagina at a resting state before arousal is only about 2.75 inches deep).
If a woman experiences dryness or pain during sex, more than likely her partner hasn’t warmed her up before trying to start the race. It’s just like jumping into a car in the middle of winter and driving it without letting it warm. Chances are your car will run slow for a few minutes and you may be causing damage to your car in the long run. When you skip foreplay, you put your partner at risk for tearing, bleeding, pain and a rough experience. More foreplay equals a wider cervix and more lubrication, which encourages better and longer sex.
So, if you are looking for a few quick tips on how to incorporate more foreplay into your sexual experiences, look no more!
- Compliment a woman on her body.
- Incorporate erotic massage or sensual rubdowns.
- Set the atmosphere and make the area comfortable and inviting (candles and music work well).
- Spend more time kissing.
- Make eye contact during these activities.
- Oral sex is great foreplay and a preview before the main event.
- Talk dirty.
- Incorporate the use of toys (e.g., massage wands, blind folds, vibrators, wrist cuffs – whatever you may be into).
- Take things slow. Foreplay is not to be rushed through.
- Remember to breathe.
- Use foods that are known to spark sexual arousal (e.g., chocolate, strawberries, red wine).
- Remain in the moment.
Visit the BlackDoctor.org Relationships center for more.