So, you’re on a date with a guy you really like, but does he know that you’re feeling him? According to new research, the answer might be in your body language — those subtle movements you may not be noticing.
“The most important part is understanding body language, but not obsessing over it,” says Jasmine Turner, matchmaker and founder of Black Match Made in Chicago. “It can confuse you if you’re looking at it the wrong way.”
According to Turner, body language is most important during the pursuit phase. Although as a more traditional matchmaker, she doesn’t necessarily encourage women to pursue their desired male counterparts, she does suggest several ways to let them know your interest. Many of these hints, she says, are naturally subconscious, especially for confident women. Men don’t give off many of these signs.
But, what if you’re not always so comfortable on dates? Here are five suggestions to let him know you’re interested:
1. Start before the conversation begins.
Turner says there are ways to flirt without actually walking over to a man. A wink, a nice stare with a smile, and doing those things in a “feminine way” can pull men in.
“As women, we’re very sensual,” Turner says. “And that’s how we express interest.”
2. Pucker up.
There’s a reason that celebs like Kim Kardashian have perfected the Instagram selfie pucker: our mouths are a big part of how we flirt.
“A little bit of openness and a little bit of pucker shows we’re interested,” Turner says.
3. Engage in hair play.
Hair is a flirting tool that many women naturally use. Touching and flipping your hair not only shows it off, but brings attention to one of your best assets.
“We do it because we’re giving exposure,” Turner says. “It says, ‘I want you to see the beauty in my face; I want you to see me.’”
4. Still keep your cool.
Be careful not to fidget too much, though, as a ton of unnatural movement can come off as being uncomfortable.
“It could also be a sign that she wants to get away, making her seem agitated or aggravated.”
5. Be vulnerable.
Exposing parts of the body like the neck, throat, or wrists may subconsciously indicate a level of trust and openness to your potential partner.
“Those areas are usually protected because they’re vulnerable,” Turner says, “But when a woman is comfortable with a man, she may show those areas, like tilting her head to expose her neck.”