By Carter Higgins –Blackdoctor.org
Actor Michael Ealy melted many women’s hearts in films like Barbershop, For Colored Girls, and About Last Night. But in his latest film, The Perfect Guy, Michael plays Carter Duncan — a charming stranger that quickly turns from a superhero saving a damsel in distress into a crazed, villain-like character that gives a “if I can’t have you, no one will” ultimatum.
Like many fairy tale relationships, Carter (Ealy) swoops in to save the day and sweep Leah (Sanaa Lathan) off of her feet.
However, there comes a point when Leah mentions, “it was like a switch went off” referring to her Ealy’s character change. As soon as Carter chokes and beats up a guy at a gas station who simply wanted to take a picture of the car, Leah realizes that she might be with the wrong guy.
But that brings up an issue that many of us deal with: How do you know that you could be dating someone super possessive or a sociopath? Here are some 5 red flags that you should know
1. Over-Interested in Everything You Do
It’s great when your partner takes an interest in your life, but it can take a dangerous turn when he needs to know absolutely everything. Stalking is a form of dating violence in which the victim is under constant surveillance. Some common tactics used by stalkers include following the other person, checking their phone calls, showing up at their workplace and even invading their property. Other warning signs include hacking into your social networking sites, into your email or having “informants” that can keep him posted as to your whereabouts.
2. It Was a Whirlwind Relationship
Its normal to start fantasizing about the future early in the relationship. It can signal a problem when one person wants to rush into the relationship too soon. Red flags to look for include your partner calling you her “soulmate,” discussing marriage or suggesting moving in together during the first few weeks of your relationship. Often, an obsessive person chooses to rush things to have more control over the other person and to have a sense that the other person is somehow trapped and has less opportunity to leave the relationship. Even when at first you think it’s cute when he is “very” affectionate in public, it could be a ploy to control you.
3. A “My Way Or The Highway” Mentality
An extremely persistent partner can also be a warning sign of a dangerous relationship. “Anybody who doesn’t hear the word “no” is trying to control you,” says security expert and author Gavin de Becker. “Persistence does not mean you are special. Persistence means he is troubled.” A relationship in which one person always has to get her way is unfair and unbalanced. You can notice persistence early in the relationship if your partner never lets you choose anything and doesn’t seem interested in your wants and needs. This can later become a bigger problem and lead physical or sexual abuse.
4. Possessive nicknames and Statements. Inserting “my” before your name or using certain nicknames in order to get on your softer side when you’re angry at him is a sign that he may be possessive.
5.Attempting to get your attention in unhealthy ways. He’ll send you an emergency text to call him while you’re at work, only to reveal it as a tactic to get you to talk to him…even though you’re at work. It becomes obsessive and even dangerous when he tries to get your attention in unhealthy ways like false emergency texts or even self-harm.