Facebook mom Alanya Kolberg, has become a viral sensation after preaching against the “sharing is caring” saying.
As a child, sharing becomes normal. If you’re a girl, normally it’s Barbie and Ken. If you’re a boy, it’s normally race cars and action figures. We grow up in a world where we are taught that sharing is indeed caring. That phrase has been the center of all play dates, the rule to children and their belongings, but not anymore.
Posting a picture of her son and another child at the park, The Good Morning America guest, Alanya Kolberg, captioned the photo with a lengthy explanation as to why her child is not obligated to share with anyone.
MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS.
As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me.
“You can tell them no, Carson,” I said. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.”
Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, “He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.”
That got me some dirty looks from other parents. Here is the thing though:
If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!
Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.
So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?
The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.
In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.
The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works.
There were thousands of parents that agreed 100% with what the Facebook mom had to say and of course there were many that did not like it one bit.
Yes, actually I let people borrow anything it’s just material!! Omg seriously this post is just insane. -One user commented
Another facebooker commented:
This is a very complex situation. You want your child to have the sense of sharing/caring but you also want them to have the ability to stand up for themselves! A child is still developing their ability to decipher between being accepted and not caring about being accepted. Adults have a different mindset (not all lol) by the time they are put in such situation. Idk. This is a little bit more complicated than just the story at hand. Teaching your kids to be kind and strong at the same time can have a very grey area depending on the child’s age and stage of development. To each its own I guess!
There were even a few comments about Kolberg’s lack of vocabulary for using the word “snow flake” to refer to other parents’ children.
One woman commented:
I love everything about this. Except the term “snowflake”. Ruined it for me right there at the end. That term now has so many negative feelings and insinuations attached to it. Just wish you would have chosen a different word.
Good stance until the snow flake reference. Expand your vocabulary.
Thousands and thousands of likes, comments and shares from this intriguing post. Aside from the fact that many adults agreed with the viral mom, a few people commented that although her point was clear and legit, her analogy of comparing an adult sharing their sandwich with other hungry adults to children sharing their toys with other children was irrelevant.
Kolberg went into detail in her post about why she says that it’s ok for her children to say no to others.
Parents try to enforce kindness and selflessness within their children at young ages by teaching them to share with others. While kindness and selflessness is important, being able to say no (kindly and respectfully) is as equally important.
The child was apparently meeting with Kolberg’s friend’s daughter. In the post she shared that her son was excited about sharing his toys with his friend…
So at the end of the day, sharing is caring!