There’s no doubt about the fact that we are living in a time that’s truly unheard of. Just last year we were so excited about 2020. We claimed 2020 as a year of victory. We had big plans for what was to come with 2020. And then boom! 2020 came in with its knee on our necks.
It sometimes feels as if the pandemic and everything coming with it is unbearable. Dealing with deaths of love ones and those whom we don’t know has been a challenge. Figuring out our true emotions has been a struggle.
For me, this year has put me in a reflective state of mind. I’ve been thinking lots about the things I’m grateful for and the things I’ve gained. I’ve been turning any bit of sorrow, anger, and sadness into deep thought. I’ve been thinking about the things I have the ability to change versus what I do not.
I’ve thought lots about the people I love and the people I miss; the people there for me and the ones who aren’t. I’ve have old friends in mind as well as new enemies.
Overall I feel the person I’m becoming during this time is a lot different from the person I’ve been. In the past I’ve always been a person that wants to see everyone smiling and everyone winning. I’ve always wanted to help others. No matter who you are, if you need help and I’m in a position to do so, I would help.
I’ve always been a person who wants to keep the people around me on full. I love to pour into the lives of others. It’s part of my purpose to pour deeply into others. I naturally have a way of making people comfortable.
However, over the past 5 years I have learned a lot…
I’ve learned how sometimes people only want to be connected to you because of what you can do for them.
I’ve learned sometimes the people closest to you truly don’t want you to win.
I’ve learned sometimes people want to stay connected to you solely because of the person you are.
I’ve learned that not everyone you expect to be there for you will actually be there in a time of need.
I’ve learned that sometimes you’re only valuable to a person contingent upon their current position or possessions.
I’ve learned people will attempt to destroy you because of the things they know about your past.
People will reject the changed you.
But above all I’ve learned that you cannot let the noise of others drown out who you’re meant to be. If you know you’re meant to do something, do it. Yes, people will talk about you. Yes, some people don’t want you to make it. However, there’s truly an art to not caring about the opinions of others. Plus it’s very dangerous to do so. Caring for people genuinely is a sign of a wonderful heart but there has to be a balance because people, friends, and family will abuse you.
This always sounds good to hear but the implementation of the principle can be challenging. Nonetheless, it’s a must. It’s a must that you focus on you. It’s a must that you grow. It’s a must that you elevate. And with that, it’s a must that you let go.
This year’s growth has brought me to a place of indifference. I learned that I can’t wear my feelings on my sleeve. I had to stop caring about some of the people and things I once cared so deeply for. I decided to take life as it is. I stopped caring about making sure my friends knew the love I had for them. I figure if they don’t know at this point that’s too bad.
Sometimes growing comes with guilt. For too long I felt guilty for growing. I felt bad for the friends I offended. I was hurt because of how much they meant to me. But I had to realize I had done nothing wrong. I focused on me. That’s it.
For a few years the pain struck me deep. But after realizing feeling sad about it messes up my focus, I digress. I had to get back to me and stick to me. Worrying about how you will make others feel will easily bring you to sorrow. It can dim your light because you may be compelled to tone it down.
You should never have to walk in a room and shrink. Greatness is greatness. So focus on you. Find a way to let go of what doesn’t matter. Always ask yourself, how is this effecting me? And then is it worth it. You are priority. Your progress matters.
Keep growing, unapologetically, and keep going.
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