Parents have just 32 minutes to themselves every day and many have to hide from their kids to get a breather, according to new data.
A study into the everyday lives of 2,000 moms and dads found that the typical parent has just over 30 minutes to themselves every day once work and parenting duties are tended to.
That’s because 32 percent of parents don’t actually stop “working” until at least 8 p.m. when parenting duties have been factored in.
The new survey, conducted by meal delivery service Munchery, found free time is ever elusive, if not non-existent when you’re a full-time working parent as they each spend 18 hours, on average, directly taking care of their kids every week. And a hectic 24 percent of parents spend more than 30 hours every week directly taking care of their kids in addition to other responsibilities.
Also added to the mix are six car journeys per week taking children to school and other various activities, while parents rack up five trips to the grocery store per week, and have to deal with their kids acting out and misbehaving an average of five times per week as well.
That kind of schedule doesn’t exactly lend itself to a plethora of free time.
TV shows like Family Guy and countless others make jokes about black men not raising their kids. There is a stigma that Black men do not raise their children, becoming the butt of jokes all throughout media outlets. In reality as true in other races, there are children who do not have their fathers in their lives, but there are many who have a father around who just need some assistance.
According to Census.Gov, there are approximately 13.6 million single parents raising over 21 million children in the United States. In Wisconsin, statistics show that 4 out of 10 single mother homes are reportedly living in poverty. While single moms are far more common, there are approximately 2.5 million single fathers as well.
In 2005 Mayor Tom Barrett started the Milwaukee Fatherhood Initiative, in an effort to empower fathers by equipping them with adequate support and resources. Comprised of local father and stake holders, the initiative decided to start a fatherhood summit that would happen annually. On October 6th-7th, the summit was held at Greater New Birth Christian Campus. The event provided services for problems that a large number of fathers in the city face such as, drivers license recovery, child support cases reviewers and employment services.
The event paid host to Grammy award wining artist and philanthropist David Banner, who spoke passionately about the problems single fathers face.
“We can have these so called answers of what men should do, but black folks need mental, spiritual and physical therapy.”
Banner also said “we say take care of kids; well I was not taken care of.”
Alluding to the fact that it is a cycle in the African American community, where fatherless children are growing up and having kids with no guide as to how to be a father. The event saw over 400 participants in the services, some may say it is a small numbers, but it is step in the right direction for fathers who want to be there for their children.
New book by LA Long, entitled “Daddy Oh Daddy,” is a part of a national campaign called #AbsenceNoMore
North Carolina (BlackNews.com) — LA Long, an African American mental health professional, is proud to offer his debut work, Daddy Oh Daddy, available now online at www.daddyohdaddy.com.
The campaign #ABSENCENOMORE is the driving force behind Daddy Oh Daddy, the illustrated keepsake for expecting fathers. The book is designed to provide dads with their own significant moment, one where they too can share as being part of the childbearing process. To often, children relate their birth to the mother and question where the father was. Daddy Oh Daddy provides dads with evidence, time stamping that moment when a conversation with their child occurred, before they were born. Awkward in nature? Not at all, most men have the instinct to caress and have talks with the baby in the womb. The difference is that Daddy Oh Daddy curates the dialog, makes the experience fun and colorful, along with applying practical scenarios of being a parent.
#ABSENCENOMORE is the movement to empower fathers and highlight the balance of parenting. Let’s say goodbye to children raised in single parent households feeling the need to attribute the absence of a father as the motivation to succeed.
According to an article by Robert Rector (www.heritage.org), “Throughout most of the 20th century, marital childbearing was the overwhelming norm in the United States. Nearly all children were born to married couples. When President Lyndon Johnson launched the War on Poverty in 1964, 93 percent of children born in the United States were born to married parents. Since that time, births within marriage have declined sharply.”
Daddy Oh Daddy was created to establish that initial bond between the father and child. The book is a resource to promote co-parenting, regardless of the relationship between the parents; married or not. The goal is to foster a stable and healthy environment for the child to develop.
About the author
A product of a married household, LA traveled the world as a military dependent. At times his father was absent due to deployment for months, therefore, he is not unfamiliar to special moments and time missed. LA relates the presence of his dad when he was around as being the key to their close relationship and a commitment that fathers should embrace regardless of life’s obstacles. As a mental health professional LA has worked extensively with troubled youth and observed a continual theme; an absent or emotionally uninvolved father. Now a father of two, LA is using his voice to celebrate fatherhood, encourage respect amongst parents, and speak out for the beautiful little ones born about every eight seconds.
By Kris Kiser, CEO & President of the Outdoor Power Equipment Institute and TurfMutt (www.TurfMutt.com)
People aren’t the only ones who love to spend time in the family yard during the summer months. For the family pet, the outdoor living room serves many purposes – providing a place to relax, burn off some energy, play safely with friends (human and furry), and do their “business.”
To help everyone – including your pets – enjoy the family yard this summer, consider these tips from TurfMutt. He’s the spokesdog for the Outdoor Power Equipment Institute’s (OPEI) environmental education program. TurfMutt is a former rescue dog who paws it forward by helping kids and their families learn about the benefits of their family yard for people and pets. As a former street dog himself, TurfMutt also advocates for pet rescue organizations and causes.
Skip Fake Grass
Artificial turf (a.k.a. fake grass) is never a good idea, especially if you have pets. Plastic grass gets very hot during the summer, is challenging to clean, and is anything but environmentally-friendly. It cannot be recycled, and it requires water to clean and cool it. Be a backyard superhero and select real turfgrass.
Pick the Right Plants & Grasses
As for which kind of grass to choose, go for something hardy that will withstand a high volume of traffic. Buffalo and Bermuda grasses can be a good choice, depending on your climate zone. For other plants and shrubs, check the ASPCA’s list of toxic and non-toxic garden plants for advice before buying. You’ll want soft, yet sturdy, foliage near walkways – save the delicate decorative flowers for elevated flowerbeds and patio pots.
There are many non-toxic ways to prevent pests in your backyard, which is good news for your people and pets! Wind chimes near flower and garden beds can help keep pets and pests away. Scented marigolds repel unwanted insects while attracting spider mites and snails. Lavender smells amazing and repels fleas and moths. The oil in basil plants can keep mosquitoes and flies away.
Consider Pollinators & Other Wildlife
While you want to keep some pests out, remember that nature starts in your backyard! Your family yard provides habitat and food for birds, butterflies, bees and more. Each of these species help pollinate human food crops and flowering plants, so take them into consideration when you’re selecting your living landscapes.
Create a Doggy Dream Yard
One final tip – there’s no shame in going all out to make your yard a dream for your dog! Remember, your outdoor living room is one of his favorite places to be. Some ideas include adding a splash pool for your pup, creating a sandbox for Fido to unleash his love of digging, or adding a puppy pergola to provide shade for Sadie. Be creative! Your canine will thank you.
Milwaukee-based Fostering Futures honors 30 trauma-informed organizations in 30 days in celebration of Trauma-Informed Care Awareness Month
Milwaukee, Wis. – May 22, 2018 –During March of this year, Governor Scott Walker proclaimed the month of May 2018 as Trauma-Informed Care Awareness Monththroughout Wisconsin, culminating in a celebration of statewide efforts and successes today, May 22, Trauma-Informed Care Day.Fostering Futures, a statewide public / private partnership that seeks improved health and wellbeing of Wisconsin’s children and families through organizational implementation of trauma-informed principles, applauds and thanks Governor Walker for his efforts to bring greater awareness to this important issue by declaring May as Trauma-Informed Care Awareness Month and May 22 as Trauma-Informed Care Day.
The state of Wisconsin has become a national and international leader in recognizing the prevalence and impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and toxic stress and the necessary response of Trauma-Informed Care. Exposure to chronic toxic stress bathes the developing brain in high levels of hormones that can lead to excessive fight of flight responses. It can interfere with executive functioning and learning strategies that help children cope with stressful situations. Trauma-Informed Care is a movement that brings awareness to this information and provides approaches to better recognizing, understanding, and addressing the needs of people living with the negative effects of toxic stress. Since its inception in 2011, Fostering Futures has been at the forefront of this movement in Wisconsin working to continue raising awareness of how science now shows us that intervening with a trauma-informed approach and shifting perspective from asking “What’s Wrong with You?” to “What happened to you?” can improve outcomes for individuals with ACEs.
In celebration of Trauma-Informed Awareness Month, @Fostering Futureson Facebook is honoring 30 organizations in 30 days in a#30Orgs30Dayssocial media celebration that shares daily highlights of organizations throughout Wisconsin that are successfully implementing trauma-informed care principles, policies, and practices. Organizations being honored include State departments, private social services organizations, county health departments, schools, school districts, and more.
“What science now shows us is that because relationships are so key to healing from negative effects of toxic stress, everyone truly has a role to play,” said Carol Howard, Director of the statewide Fostering Futures initiative that is based in Milwaukee. “Having a Trauma-Informed Care Day celebrated across the state is a wonderful way to honor those who have been working for years to raise awareness of the importance and efficacy of trauma-informed care, and to continue spreading the hope that truly every Wisconsinite has a role to play in improving the lives of Wisconsin’s children and families.”
Howard, along with several other members of the Fostering Futures Steering Committee, will attend a Trauma-Informed Care Champion’s Luncheon today hosted by Governor Walker and First Lady Tonette Walker at the Executive Residence in Madison.
About Fostering Futures:
Fostering Futures was organized in 2011 as an initiative of Wisconsin’s First Lady, Tonette Walker, to raise awareness about how childhood trauma can dramatically shape a person’s life. The initiative is a dynamic collaboration amongst many organizational partners who share a common vision to prevent and reduce childhood trauma while working to improve the health and well-being of Wisconsin’s children and families. Fostering Futures’ vision is that all Wisconsin children and families are thriving in nurturing communities; individuals, communities, and governing bodies integrate trauma-informed, strength-based principles into their relationships, culture, policies, and practices promoting safe, stable and nurturing relationships.
Web: http://fosteringfutureswisconsin.org/ Facebook: @FosteringFutures
Article courtesy of NBC – Albany, NY via “The Rundown”
A couple in Camillus, New York is asking for a court’s help to get their 30-year-old son out of their house.
In filings to the Supreme Court of New York State,
Christina and Mark Rotondo say they’ve been trying to get their son, Michael Rotondo, to leave their home for several months.
The filing includes five written notices that the couple says it has left for Michael, starting with a note on February 2nd that told him he had 14 days to leave.
In a response filed to the court Wednesday, Michael Rotondo contends that the five written notices did not provide a reasonable amount of time for him to leave, citing Kosa v. Legg as precedent “that there is ‘Common law requirement of six-month notice to quit before tenant may be removed through ejectment action.”
His response asserts none of the notes amount to a six-month notice.
Raising a teenager can be a challenge under the best circumstances.
But when a teenager’s addictions, learning disabilities, or emotional and behavioral issues become more than parents can bear, the young people often are placed in residential or wilderness treatment programs where professionals help them work through their issues.
Success can quickly unravel when the child returns home, though, if parents aren’t ready with a game plan to help with the transition.
“Parents often fear that their son or daughter is going to relapse into old, unhealthy or dangerous patterns,” says Dr. Tim R. Thayne, a marriage and family therapist and author of Not by Chance: How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment(www.drtimthayne.com).
“They have fears about how their child will connect socially with other people and whether they will find the right friends. They fear their teen will fall further behind in academics.”
Thayne suggests a few ways to help parents ease the transition:
- Identify natural mentors for your teen. A natural mentor – such as a neighbor, teacher, relative or coach – is typically more effective than an officially assigned mentor. “Studies suggest that most formal mentoring relationships last less than a year,” Thayne says. “In contrast, natural mentoring relationships, which come from the church, school, family and neighborhood, are far more durable, with the average lasting nine years.”
- Know when and how to grant back privileges and freedoms. Don’t let your teen pressure you into promising the return of certain privileges. Long before they come home, teens in treatment often begin asking what they are going to be able to do and how soon. “They want back the freedoms they once had, such as cell phone and car use, sleepovers, computer time, dating, time with friends and so forth,” Thayne says. “If there is ever a time not to buckle under pressure from your teen, it’s now while they are still in the program. If your teen is going to be angry, let the program deal with the fallout.” When they do come home, don’t make a rule you aren’t willing to back up. Consistency is key. Over time, as your trust grows, be ready to hand out rewards before being asked, but this doesn’t have to be done all at once. “Things can be handed out for a weekend trial, or at a level of 50 percent of what your child initially pushed for,” Thayne says.
- Find someone to talk with. “Parents should have someone they can open up to about their emotions,” Thayne says. He suggests finding a therapist or a coach who has experience working with parents in this situation. “That counselor will be better equipped to help you through this transition,” he says. “Nothing will surprise them; not your fears, not your questions, not your situation.” In addition to an expert coach, Thayne says, it also helps to have a trusted friend you can vent to as well.
“Long-term success doesn’t come about by chance, by hoping or simply because you shelled out a lot of money and sent your child away to get help,” Thayne says. “It requires work and changes on your part, and it takes a concrete plan.”
About Tim R. Thayne, Ph.D.
Dr. Tim R. Thayne, a marriage and family therapist, is author of Not By Chance: How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and Out of Treatment (www.drtimthayne.com). He also is the founder and CEO of Homeward Bound, a leading program in early intervention and in-home transition from treatment services for families of troubled teens. He has a master’s degree from Brigham Young University and a doctoral degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Virginia Tech.
(BlackNews.com) — Millions of children being raised by a single parent have inevitably wondered, “Why did my mother or father abandon me?” A new children’s book, I Didn’t Leave Because of You, seeks to answer that question with a compassionate and healing response. Author, Tyechia White, was inspired to change the popular narrative that absent parents are merely deadbeats while reconciling with her father after nearly 30 years. It was during her care for her father during his short battle with a terminal cancer that the author learned more about her father’s struggles and came to view her father’s absence as an act of love.
I Didn’t Leave Because of You is written as a gentle poem in the voice of the absent parent offering alternative reasons for his or her absence. Each of the reasons in the book are personal for the author and resonate with other stories shared about absent parents. This book has beautiful and diverse illustrations to help capture the emotion of sadness rather than anger in order to help children heal. Whether you are seeking to help a child cope with an absent parent or searching for your own healing, this book is sure to help with the journey toward understanding and forgiveness.
Born and raised in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, author Tyechia White is now an attorney practicing in Washington, D.C. Tyechia seeks to develop a style of children’s books that combine emotion with beauty for the purpose of helping both child and parent heal and build stronger bonds.
I Didn’t Leave Because of You can be purchased online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Mascot Books, and Target or by visiting the author’s website at www.tyechiawhite.com.
More than twenty-five students from Divine Savior Holy Angels High School will spend their Saturday night, March 10th, hosting and celebrating “Senior” Prom at St. Anne’s Salvatoprian Campus (who mission incorporates compassionate care with modern methods of senior support.) This year’s fifth annual event, themed “Enchantment Under the Sea”, has been organized by four DSHA seniors and a team of St. Anne’s residents. The prom committee has collaborated to design decorations, determine refreshments, create a raffle and hire entertainment.
On prom night, St. Anne’s Gathering Room will be completely transformed to reflect the committee’s vision. Local band Maggie’smile will perform live music, including old standards, music from the 1930s, 40s and 50s and polkas. Residents will receive wrist corsages, handmade by DSHA students, and just like in high school, formal prom portraits will be taken to instantly capture the night’s excitement. Polaroid photos will be handed out so they can instantly have a memento of the night, and each attendee will also receive a treat bag with themed items.
DSHA senior Abigail Stoffel is thrilled to bring this social event to life, sharing, “I’m excited for St. Anne’s Prom because we are giving the residents an opportunity to relive one of the key moments of high school, something that will possibly trigger a happy memory for them.” Over her four years of high school, each DSHA student is required to fulfill an annual Salvatorian Service requirement. However, many of these young women volunteer beyond the obligated hours, because they develop meaningful relationships with the individuals they serve and witness the impact of sharing their time and talents. The significance of the connection often goes both ways. The St. Anne’s residents find gratification in helping prepare for this special night and enjoy connecting with the teenage volunteers.
“Senior” Prom will be held Saturday, March 10, 2018 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in the Gathering Room at St. Anne’s Salvatorian Campus, Located at 3800 N. 92nd Street, Milwaukee, WI 53222.