Closely behind the impact the COVID-19 had on Black academic achievement was its unexpected influence on the mental health of Black students.
As detailed last week, 60% of high school students revealed increased anxiety, stress and depression from the virtual instruction replacement paradigm that was necessitated by the pandemic in 2020.
That unprecedented impact ranged from simple anxiety to teen suicide which has reached previously unheralded levels.
Today, the Black teen suicide rate is higher than any time in history. According to ‘Ed Source,’ the Black teen suicide rate doubled since 2014, and after trailing White and Asian students, is now averaging 12 out of every 100,000 students.
When interviewing parents about their decision to transfer their children out of the Milwaukee Public School system during the pandemic, mental health was frequently mentioned.
Two of the Black parents interviewed said they feared their children’s mental health had deteriorated under the virtual paradigm to the point of attempted suicide.
As noted in last week’s installment, a severe shortage of MPS counselors and social workers was a significant contributing factor.
Many of the stories overlap, and as such, we’ve decided to feature one that encapsulates scenarios shared by many.
The family interviewed is headed by a well-known community activist who has been involved in efforts to end educational apartheid in Milwaukee for several years.
Her daughter is a 15-year-old sophomore who has maintained good grades while attending one of the district’s better specialty schools.
Her school experience, like her home life was exemplary until two years ago, prompting her mother to transfer her to a suburban school.
In eighth grade, ‘Aliah’ (name changed to protect identity) was taller than most of her peers, and in the early stages of self-discovery. The pandemic opened the door for harassment—bullying—which included vulgar sexual inferences and vicious verbal attacks that ultimately manifested itself in self-mutilation and depression.
Her mother explains:
“She started to withdraw from wanting to leave the house because she was a compromised individual because of COVID-19. She has asthma and was afraid to leave the house. Every day she would confine herself to the room because her older brother had contracted COVID-19 twice, so she was worried about her health and safety.
In the process of all of this, her spirits started to decline, and her social life with her friends was no more. She started looking like a raccoon around the eyes with dark circles. Her teenage life was obsolete; many of her friends didn’t have cell phones nor were they allowed to hang out or have sleepovers because of the pandemic.
Our family pretty much kept to ourselves. We called to check on each other’s welfare, but we did not visit with one another–we were trying to stay safe. Little did I know that my 13-year-old child at the time was suffering from depression from a boy ridiculing her, telling her that her (body parts smelled) and her fat jiggles when she walks.
I tried to deprogram her mind after being allowed to ponder and analyze what this young man meant when he said what he said, or the feelings that she had, but did not know how to express it to me.
Aliah couldn’t tell the teacher what happened because there were no arrangements for that process. Nor could she talk to the school counselor about the way this boy made her feel, during the pandemic.
The juvenile assailant had been spoken to about his conduct, and as a parent,
I would try to assure her there are boys like girls, who do not know how to express themselves or communicate with the opposite sex so they say crazy things that land them in trouble.
I told her one day he will think about what he said to you when he’s older and realize how wrong he was in saying those nasty things.
So now we are virtual and she doesn’t want to comb her hair. She doesn’t want to get dressed. She doesn’t want to get out of bed. She doesn’t want to do anything but shower and get back in bed. She then embarks on a strict diet because she thinks she’s fat at the same time I am cooking and preparing her meals.
She doesn’t want to eat even though the pandemic has been economically impactful to my family.
Now I’m trying to juggle the expensive list of items that my daughter needs to sustain her health and her mental well-being when we realize that this had occurred with the young man. It was too late for us to do anything as the school year was ending. She just didn’t want to talk about anything or nothing but play video games and listen to heavy-metal music.
There was this one song that she played in her room—blasted it—that was particularly disturbing; full of hate and hurtful lyrics. The name of the Artist is 1-800-Pain and it comes with a sickening destructive video. I asked her why did she like that song and she gave no explanation other than to say she just liked it.
At this time, I did not know that my daughter was actually cutting her arms. She stopped wearing short sleeve shirts. She stopped wearing dresses and shorts, anything that will reveal her skin. During the pandemic, I also had to (quit one of my part-time job) working as a Lyft and Uber driver because I could not run the risk of bringing anything home to my family.
I am asking her why didn’t she wash the dishes. She still has chores but wasn’t completing them.
At one point I asked my oldest daughter to check on her, which is when I learned she was cutting herself.
I was away working on an assignment, when my oldest daughter calls me ask if I had seen Aliah’s arm? She has cuts all over them. My (first response) was to question how I could have missed that (self-mutilation). Her bedroom is right down the hall from my room. We’re on the second floor of the home. She has no friends to come over. She doesn’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
I (immediately) made an appointment for her to go see our doctor.
My daughter is now 14-years-old and I am at the doctor’s office and I’m curious to find out what’s going on with her so that we can get her to a therapist as quickly as possible. Much to my surprise I was told that it would be six months because they were backed up but they could get her in a youth Adolescence treatment program at Children’s Hospital.
The doctor then dismissed me from the room because Aliah did not feel comfortable speaking in front of me. I was truly upset with that because I think at the end the of the day, I am the one at the house with her if she decides to take her anger and aggression out on any of us. So, when I’m allowed to come back into the room, the doctor wants to talk to me and explain my lack of respect for her use of pronouns—they, them, he, him, she, her, etc., and, that she’s coming out of the closet.
I asked what closet as she has no boyfriend or girlfriend, she’s not intimate with anyone.
Social media has played a big role in my daughter’s life, everything was catching her attention including police brutality, homosexuality, rape, hate crimes, crimes against the youth, domestic violence, and race riots.
All of these things were contributing factors in my daughter’s thought process. But she didn’t feel comfortable coming to me for an answer because she felt my view would be obscured and one-sided
I then reached out to some mental health clinicians that I knew. I asked them to speak with her, which was troubling to me because again, Aliah gets whatever she wants; she’s not on restriction, anything to further education, anything to help her be successful anything within reason that contributes to her being a productive citizen in the society that we live in.
So now I have to start looking up pronouns, and start referring to her as “Kai”, which isn’t her birth name, but upon the advice of her doctor, and the mental health clinician that this other form of communication and identity is a real thing.
This form of communication only came out during the pandemic. No one ever heard of it prior to being so dominant in the lives of our young people.
Now we will fast forward. It’s time to go back to school and I reach out to the superintendent of MPS schools, Dr. Keith Posley, and give him this brief story of my daughter and suggest ways the staff can be more observant. I note sometimes kids expound on things going on with them in their lives to other adults (parent figures). (Generally, the school is the number one reporting source for any type of injuries, and violence against our children. As authority sources, the principals and guidance counselors are the liaison students go to.)
And I basically told him the social media platforms that the teenagers have today is different than the ones we have based on the algorithms. The things they search for are what pops up in front of them on the screen. There are videos out there telling our children to kill themselves, and that no one loves them or cares about them. Some advocate violence and suicide.
However, I never received a response back from Dr. Posley before school started back up, I did not like the way the middle school handled the mediation between my daughter and the young man, and I did not want her to deal with him any longer.
I made the decision to change her schools because I did not receive a response back from (MPS administration) and I needed help save my child’s life .
I knew MPS could not give her what she needed. There were things that we grew up on back in the day when I graduated from North Division high school; we had everything to compete with any of the top-notch high schools in the state to be successful.
We had qualified, caring educators, who were investing in us, and what we could bring to the table. We had successful individuals to emulate, alumni who graduated from North Division and became politicians, police chief, battalion chiefs, doctors, lawyers, senators, and elected officials.
I didn’t see that happening with the youth of today. It was one of the very reasons why I retired early, because I wanted to get back to the youth; get them involved in positive things. Little did I know my own child was suffering. I thought she was OK because of her upbringing and ‘her family support network.
What I knew I needed for her was for her to be engaged; to have support not only at home, but at school as well.
Upon my visit to Wauwatosa East high School, I was impressed with the guidance counselor, who stated that every ninth grader is assigned a counselor who will be with them until graduation.
We toured the school while it was in session, and we were told that there was no limit to what she could do if she wanted to, (such as) create a community group, anything for the positivity and well-being of the students that everything was accepted.
The school had several clubs and groups that represent a diversity of concepts. One club was called GSA, the short acronym for Gay Straight Alliance. they also have a Black Student Union (BSU) for those kids to identify as well.
There was equity and inclusion for my child at the school. When we took a tour of the wood shop area, a state-of-the-art classroom newly rebuilt, she was told if she wanted to take electronics or engineering classes that she could as a freshman. She didn’t have to wait to become a senior.
We were told the staff wanted to teach the kids to be self-sufficient. If we ever faced a pandemic again that they would have options to make money with their hands to provide for their families.
As I’m going through the school, I get the impression that everybody seems aware, friendly, and receptive. The walls reflect diversity, of every nationality and race of people. No one was excluded.
The school had an old historic look to it that my daughter found attractive. I’m thinking if I can just get her in the school, I am sure her mindset will change once she sees other kids, thriving Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, and to see that she’s no different than they are; that they all made it through the pandemic.
During the first few months of high school, she was missing her friends from middle school, and she tried to find excuses why she didn’t like her new school. I suggested she get involved in some activities, volleyball, swimming team and basketball. You can do all of those things there’s no limit to what you can do.
All of a sudden, she wanted new clothes that were not black. She wanted new shoes that were not black; she wanted her hair done and it was not black. Now she’s ready to go shopping.
She wants to go to homecoming and, she wants to look like a young lady instead of wearing baggy jeans, baggy sweatshirts, and her Doc Marten boots.
I was convinced once she started seeing other young ladies, something would rub off on her to let her know that she was beautiful.
Then all of the comments started flying. ‘You’re a pretty girl, you’re a tall pretty girl, I love your hair, your clothes are really nice.’ She wanted to wear graphic T-shirts from Spencer and Hot topic clothing stores. Somehow the validation from students matters more than your parent’s comments.
At one point, there was a protest outside of the school where one of the students had inappropriately touched another student. The protestors felt that the school did not take their complaint seriously enough. Aliah got involved with that just by talking to some of the girls who were outside protesting. She felt vindicated, and it was a part of her healing process to let her know that is not tolerated, the disrespect of girls or women of any kind, regardless of race.
Now we’re updating to her sophomore year of high school. She has grown tremendously. Allah’s self-esteem has returned, along with her zest to live and she wants to be engaged and involved. She is now a part of a stage crew setting up for two plays at Tosa East. She is engaged in extracurricular activities. She is focused on school and academics. She’s aware of her grades, and she wants the best grades. When she has a lower grade, she wants to figure out how can she increase the value of her grade. All of those things are great because it shows that something else is going on inside of her head that’s positive—being productive, that’s wanting to live.
Now we are preparing for her to participate in a two-week foreign exchange program in France next spring. I find myself listening more, trying to be open-minded with her discussions or whatever she comes home to talk about. I always let her know I’m ready to go to school and battle with my words to get my message across about equity, equality, and inclusion and against bullying. My daughter assures me that she is capable of taking care of measures herself.
She just wanted me to be aware.
So, for that, I’m happy that we have communication going on between us again, even when she flares up and starts throwing a temper tantrum as teenagers do on other issues. I now know she is still reachable in other types of conversation settings.
This is a brief synopsis of my 15-year-old daughter Aliah going through the pandemic and finding her way out through resources supplied by myself and her school.
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