Emotions are those things that we love and hate. Often times we dislike the feeling of dealing with our emotions; whether it be because we’re afraid of our feelings or afraid of where our emotions will take us.
Sometimes our emotions make us uncomfortable. They can make us impulsive. At times our emotions can push us to do what’s right, but in the same breath, push us to do the wrong thing. It’s not odd that our emotions can get the best of us. It’s just that our emotions must develop if we want to grow.
By definition, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. They drive our moral compass of life. Emotional intelligence is something we have to be intentional about. When we find ourselves in situations that we don’t want to be in due to how we reacted, we have to question our emotional intelligence.
Being emotionally intelligent gives us wisdom. It can save the day or even make it, for that matter. This makes it important to constantly check in with yourself. Being intelligent emotionally can truly help you shape your life into what you really want. This doesn’t just benefit ourselves. It benefits the people around us as well.
Have you been desiring more from yourself? Are you ready to have the big girl/big boy talk with yourself to help improve you mentally and emotionally?
Here’s a few steps to take:
Practice observing how you feel.
Sit down with yourself and be in your own space. Check in with you. Ask yourself how you’re feeling. BE HONEST. There’s nothing you can do to get better without first figuring out where you are.
Pay attention to how you behave.
This is key. Begin to notice patterns about yourself and how you handle things. When “this” happens, how do you react. When “that” happens how do you deal with it?
Question your own opinions.
Ask yourself why and do it often. Sometimes we react to things a certain way because we were taught to. Sometimes it’s the environment we’re use to. Other times it’s due to circumstances. Whatever it is figure it out.
Take responsibility for your feelings.
Immediately STOP BLAMING OTHERS. The blame game does not produce growth. Take responsibility and go from there. Hold yourself accountable for your actions.
Take time to celebrate the positive.
Stop beating up on yourself or making things seem like a small deal when you’ve worked hard for it. Celebrate you. You’re worth it and you deserve to see the positive light in your journey.
But don’t ignore the negative.
Again, take accountability. If you’re not behaving with intelligence, that’s a problem. If you’re constantly hurting others whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, you need to find out why and make changes.
Don’t forget to breathe.
It’s okay to breathe. It’s okay to break. It’s okay to be still. Don’t make impulsiveness a habit. Learn to be chill.
A lifetime process.
This is no easy task. Growing emotionally takes time. Everything takes trial and error. Relax and remind yourself that you’re not perfect. This is a journey that takes a lifetime but as long as you’re determined and intentional, you’ll get right where you need to be.