You ever heard the term “misery loves company”? Of course you have. I think sometimes the term sounds so cliche to people that the wisdom that comes with it is neglected. Why does all this even matter? Oh, because it’s time for you to stop making excuses for those around you.
Many times the company you keep can shape the trajectory of your life. It’s kind of like that saying where they say the 5 people you spend the most time with shape the person you’ll become. Just think about it. If you spend most of your time with basketball players, it’s highly likely that you may learn how to play it yourself. If you hang around 5 people that sit around the house doing nothing, you may end up finding yourself doing the same after while.
While your environment can be subjective, it’s important to try your hardest to make sure you’re in the right places. If you care about your peace, your future, and the direction you’re headed, you must be conscious about your common whereabouts.
I say all this to say this. As the holiday season approaches, know that you have the freedom to move how you want to. If you being with your family puts you in a bad mood, if the goal is to be in a good mind space, don’t show up to the function just because that’s the tradition. Break bad cycles.
If you’ve tried your best to have discussions about behaviors and issues that you’ve had with family members and no one wants to be the bigger person, leave them alone this year. You will be surprised to know that after a while, when you know someone’s chaotic and they show you why every time, if you choose to show up and be around, you’re lightweight abusing yourself.
Whether it’s family, friends, or a loved one, if they are chaotic it’s completely natural for their chaos to bleed onto those around them. Sometimes it’s so necessary to give people time. Sometimes you have to step away so that they can know something is wrong and potentially will check themselves.
This time of the year can be very tough for some. Not all of us have functional families. It’s not uncommon. When you’re dealing with dysfunction sometimes you have to move a little different at this time.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for choosing you or choosing peace. Remind yourself that you still love those people but you just need to breathe healthy air this holiday season. You can still show your love. You can send a card. Drop off some gifts or a dish. You can even stop by for a quick second and leave but don’t force yourself to be in a place that you don’t wanna be.
Be real. Be honest. Choose. And choose you.