dating

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner: Surviving The Holidays With A New Plus 1

December 26, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

It’s that time of year again – gift giving, largely prepped meals, family gatherings, and time for you to decide if you are bringing a plus one. Each year if you aren’t married, this can be a point of confliction, and it plays out in so many different ways in everyone’s family. For me personally, I am struggling with the anxiety of my man meeting my entire family.

We all have those family members who are an anomaly. You aren’t exactly sure what you will get from them be it the good or bad, and the fear of being judged becomes all too real. But, we all come to this crossroad in our relationship where it is time to get the approval (or heaven forbid disapproval) about your significant other.

While I was thinking through my return home with the new love of my life, I actually chuckled for a bit on the inside because I am seriously preparing for this! I know the types of questions I’m in for and if your family is anything like mine, this advice should be helpful for you, too.

What happened to…?

One thing is for sure, sometimes family has a real way of rubbing the obvious in your face, and unfortunately for me I have a big overstated one: my ex. He has the same name as my new boyfriend. They also really liked my ex. If you get some shade because you showed up with someone new, don’t sweat it. Keep on doing you! There is nothing wrong with doing what makes you happy. Let those in question know that with each relationship you are growing and finding what you really want in a relationship.

Why aren’t you married yet?

Marriage can often be a question brought up with any couple around the holidays, especially if you’re one of the last in the family to join the ranks of married life. Don’t let the pressure get to you. If you’re getting heat about when and why it hasn’t happened yet, try politely letting them know that you are living your life on your terms and not theirs. I’ve learned that if you are disinterested in discussing this topic, leaving less room for conversation around it is best.

Prepare your significant other for who they’ll meet in advance.

No one should be sent into battle unprepared! If you know your family is a host of characters – like Nosey Aunty, Nitpicking Grandmother, No Chill Cousin – give your date the heads up about everyone. There is nothing like being stuck in an awkward moment. At least if you give them a heads up, they can prepare for how they want to react. It will also make for funny inside jokes between the two of you all night!

At the end of the day, bringing your love home is only one checkpoint in the relationship. You can get through it! Just go with the flow.

Should You Ask About Mental Health History When Dating?

November 9, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

Flirting young African American woman

Daunte Henderson, BlackDoctor.org Contributor

The signs aren’t always clear to see when you first start dating someone. Heck, you can’t even tell what a person is truly about if you’ve been dating them for months and maybe years. Who knows what truly goes on in the hearts and minds of people. They say actions speak louder than words, but what if your significant other doesn’t display any signs of mental health issues?

The tragic death of Julia Martin at the hands of her ex-fiancee brought up some interesting questions about knowing the mental health history of your loved one. The father of Martin said the now deceased ex-fiancee Nick Harvey showed no signs of being dangerous before killing his daughter. So how does a person just randomly commit such a vicious act out of nowhere? According to the brother of Harvey, he’s had a documented history of diagnosed mental health issues. One has to ask was Mr. Harvey forthcoming about his challenges and did Ms. Martin know the extent of them?

BlackDoctor.org spoke with Chicago-based clinical therapist Kyla M. Gordon to see if we could give our readers a mental health screening process before they decide to date someone.

BlackDoctor.org: Is it possible to check someone’s mental health history without asking them directly?

Kyla Gordon: In short, no. Both snooping around and asking about someone’s mental health history is just as intrusive as researching and inquiring [about] someone’s physical health history. Both are private and confidential personal information. People living with a mental illness want to be able to know and trust the person they’re with before they feel comfortable in sharing such fragile information.

BlackDoctor.org: What are signs to watch out for when evaluating someone’s mental health when you first meet them?

Kyla Gordon: More people are living with an undiagnosed mental illness than diagnosed because let’s face it, we have all dealt with some type of depression, inattentiveness, or anxiety in some point in our lives. There are many people coping with mental illness and are living successful lives because they understand their triggers, utilize coping skills or they are on a medication regimen that works for them. When it negatively impacts our daily lives where the inability to function is significant, that’s when it becomes noticed by loved ones and the outside world.

Here are some, but not all of the more severe symptoms of mental illness to be aware of:

Psychosis: an impaired loss of contact with reality; i.e. seeing, hearing, feeling, or smelling something that isn’t there

Mania: elevated mood, inflated self esteem, decreased need for sleep, difficulty paying attention, racing thoughts

BlackDoctor.org: People often look at a person’s genetic history when finding a mate. Are mood, emotional and behavioral disorders hereditary?

Kyla Gordon: There’s a possibility. However, if your parent has a mental illness, that does not mean you will have one. It means the risk of having a mental illness is higher than if you didn’t have an affected family member. Mood, emotional and behavioral disorders can be caused by a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors.

Biological factors may include:

genetics
brain defects
brain injuries
substance abuse

Psychological factors may include:

sexual/physical/emotional abuse
neglect or the loss of someone significant, such as a parent

Environmental factors include:

a dysfunctional family life
a tumultuous community life
substance abuse by the person’s parents
changing of jobs

BlackDoctor.org: What are best practices when dating someone with mental health issues?

Kyla Gordon: Be patient and empowering. Educate yourself on their symptoms, medications and/or preventative methods. Most importantly, set boundaries for yourself. You mustn’t work harder than the person living with the mental illness. Support your mate, however, understand you can’t fix them. Being more diligent with their illness will lead to personal burnout and reinforce that they are incapable of doing things on their own.

BlackDoctor.org: Are there certain types of mental health issues that make a person at risk for violent outbursts such as the one in the story?

Kyla Gordon: People with mental health illness are no more likely to be violent than those who aren’t suffering with mental illnesses. Most people living with a mental illness are not violent and only 3-5% of violent acts are attributed to individuals living with a mental illness. According to statistics, people with severe mental illnesses are over 10 times more likely to be victims of violent crime than the general population. However, there are some factors that may increase the risk of violence in a number of individuals living with mental illness. Some of those factors may include untreated psychosis and abuse of alcohol or illegal substances.

15 Mental Health Questions You Should Ask Your Date

October 18, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

Couples Dancing And Drinking At Evening Party

T. R. Causay –Blackdoctor.org

Dating is hard enough as it is. Now, pile on mental health issues stemming from his or her past and its a recipe for disaster. So instead of finding out later that the person you’re dating may have some mental health problems that you didn’t sign up for, here are a few questions you should ask and they should answer (and you should answer too).

1. Do you like your job?

Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their $200K/year job to go back to school? What’s their attitude to their work? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder?

2. What sort of vacations do you like to take?

Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time.

3. How was your day?

Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you’ll know the person sees the glass as half empty.

Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in.

4. Tell me about your friends?

Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn’t directly about them.

5. Are you a dog person, a cat person, or neither?

Why: If one of you doesn’t like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that’s likely to be a problem. Science has shown that depending on your preference for a pet, you are prone to get along with certain types of people. Sometimes, very strong “dog people” don’t get along with very atypical “cat people.”

6. Would you like a bite of my food?

Why: This question shows you’re open to sharing. On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. If the person is against it, he or she may be against sharing in life or have some sort of issue with sharing from his/her past.

7. Is it too noisy in here for you?

Why: This shows you’re considerate of other people’s comfort. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation.

8. Are you close to your family? Or, tell me who’s in your family?

Why: Are they very involved with their family of origin? Is this something that appeals to you or not? Are their family intrusive?

9. Is there anything you don’t eat?

Why: Helps you plan future dates but also gives you an opportunity to choose not to pursue dating someone who has very incompatible food preferences from you.

10. Do you/have you ever smoke / drink / do drugs?

Why: You likely have a preference one way or the other.

11. Do you collect anything?

Why: Do they spend a lot of money or time collecting something?

12. How do you feel about…. [insert what you are most passionate about]?

Why: Whatever you’re really passionate about, do they respect it? For example, gaming.

13. Have you been to any good restaurants recently?

Why: Tells you something about whether they seek out new experiences.

14. What are your thoughts about the upcoming election (any upcoming election)?

Why: The main point here is not to jump to assumptions about your date’s politics. If you jump to an assumption that they have the same politics as you, they might feel too awkward to say that their politics are different.

15. When was the last time you really had fun?

Why: This gives you a glimpse into what the person really loves to do. Not just in their spare time, but really makes them happy. If it’s something strange, then you may want to back off.

6 Things To Know About Infidelity

October 12, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

Man Having Argument With Woman

Dr. James Wadley –Blackdoctor.org

I was invited to speak on the radio recently in Philadelphia about infidelity and how couples can restore intimacy in their relationships. As you can imagine, there were a number of callers who offered sentiments about relationship survival, severance or trauma endured. Given the candidness of the discussion, I thought it would be helpful to write about this sensitive issue that affects many relationships and families.

1. What is infidelity?

Infidelity happens when two parties have made an explicit (e.g., “We are going to be emotionally and sexually monogamous,” or “We are together,”) or implicit (e.g., We kissed, had sex, shared secrets, spent time with each other’s family, etc. but the relationship status was not discussed) agreement to not engage in the same behavior or emotional interaction with another person. When the agreement is severed by one or both parties, any transaction with another person is expected to be disclosed or maintained a secret (contingent upon one’s value system regarding truth, honesty, disclosure, etc.).

Infidelity is individually constructed and relative to the person. In other words, there are many perspectives about what cheating is/is not, what infidelity means to the relationship, and whether or not it is a “deal breaker.” So for example, you may believe that a person cheats when he/she engages in oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone else but feel that sexting an ex-partner is playful flirting. Another example might be sharing secrets or engaging in intimate behaviors with someone other than your primary partner and rationalizing the experience as “not cheating” because you never had sex with the other person.

Yet another example might be, sexual intimacy with someone other than your partner but believe that since the feelings you have for the other person are not as strong as those for your primary partner, then the act was not cheating. A final example might be having a romantic interlude with someone else and not disclosing it to your partner. If confronted about it, then it’s cheating….if you are not confronted by your spouse, then it is okay. Please understand that if you and your partner have not talked about your actions and consented to those actions beforehand…it’s cheating.

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Singer Nola Ade Explores Why Dating In 2016 Is So Hard

July 11, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

By Tiffany Walden, BlackDoctor.org Staff Writer

Being a single woman on the quest for love in 2016 is hard. For starters, men today are moving at increasingly glacial speeds toward jumping the broom. The average American groom was 29 in 2011 compared to a fresh-faced 23 in 1960, according to Pew Research.

And if you’re a Black woman, specifically, the numbers only get worse. More than 35 percent of Blacks older than 25 have never been down the aisle. That’s a significant increase from 50 years ago.

Despite these odds, rising Chicago-based singer Nola Ade remains hopeful about relationships in 2016. Her new soulful EP, The Love Dance, talks about the necessity of love and its rollercoaster ride of highs and lows.

“Finding people [who] are committed, [who] want to commit, I think, is the hardest part,” said Ade, 27. She’s currently single. “I think that takes another type of maturity level, especially now in the millennial-era, where everyone is making money and getting their business on.”

She’s right, at least according to a Gallup poll, which found that many young adults today are waiting to marry because they haven’t yet found the right person, still feel too young or aren’t financially stable.

Ade agreed with the financial stability issue. Today, she said, most millennials feel they must have great-paying jobs, furnished apartments and nice cars before they can begin to seriously date someone. In the olden days, according to Ade, people weren’t afraid to initially struggle together in a relationship while building on the economic and occupational dreams they share.

“We’re bypassing the feeling of, ‘let’s do this together,’ versus the, ‘let’s do this myself,’” Ade added.

Another much-debated issue on the dating scene, which is also apparently delaying marriage for millennials, is this idea that successful Black women are intimidating. And with there being far more college-educated Black women than Black men, it’s easy to see how this apparent intimidation could be threatening for Black women dating for marriage.

“Men are emotional beings, as well. So I feel like they just don’t want to get initially rejected,” said Ade, who finds ambition in a man very attractive. “It’s not about necessarily where you come from. It’s not about what you’re doing right now. It’s about where you want to be [and] how we can grow together.”

Ade also admires confident men. These types of guys, she said, know exactly what they want in a relationship and aren’t afraid to communicate their desire. The confident guy doesn’t mind telling his girl that he likes or loves her, isn’t afraid to pick up the phone and call instead of text or to send his lady flowers to show he’s thinking of her.

“I think love is still very prevalent,” Ade said. “It’s still here in the midst. People are still loving each other and people are still trying to love. We need to make more music to encourage it.”

5 Foods You Should Eat Before You Go Out On A Date

June 22, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

By Carey Albright –Blackdoctor.org

It doesn’t matter if it’s your first date or seventh date, dates can sometimes be nerve wrecking: what to wear, how to do your makeup, what you should eat, how much you should eat, etc. We all know you should be yourself, but let’s be real: dating is allowing someone to get to know you little pieces at a time.

So here are five foods that will help you flatten your stomach, calm your nerves and help your skin. Take a look below.

1. Nuts.
Nervous jitters are normal when you go out on dates. That’s why it’s important to stick to snacks that don’t raise your blood sugar too quickly such as nuts including almonds, brazil nuts, hazelnuts and macadamia nuts, as these contain some protein and good fats that will reduce your cravings.

They are also a good source of magnesium, which helps with efficient energy production while also being calming to the nervous system. Stress and anxiety, that cause pre-date nerves, can be fueled by eating the wrong types of foods.

2. Fresh Vegetables
It only takes one time to make a first impression. Nutritionist Cassandra Barns tells dailymail.com that there are a number of different foods that can actually help freshen a person’s breath. Carrots, apples and celery can help scrape out the plague build-ups that can cause bad breath. Apart from being nutritious and healthy, these crunchy foods can also boost production of saliva, which fights bacteria.

In addition, celery is a natural diuretic so it will help to fight water retention and bloating. Our saliva is a natural antiseptic and it plays a crucial role in breaking down food particles trapped within dental crevices, protecting teeth from bacterial decay.

However, in order for your body to produce enough of it, you must be drinking plenty of water throughout the day, otherwise microbes in our mouth will feed on food pieces and release by-products, causing odor at the same time.
3. Healthy fats
If cocktails or a bottle of wine are in the plans for the date, it is important to prepare.

Overall, it’s important that you do eat before drinking to slow the absorption of alcohol and additionally reduce the irritation that it causes to the stomach. Include healthy fats such as salmon or olive oil dressing to slow absorption of alcohol, thereby slowing the work for your liver. It allows your liver to do it’s job in making sure you don’t get too intoxicated too quickly.

4. Legumes
We all want to look our best and a lot of times, that means looking our slimmest. Once again, your diet can help.
Try to include legumes in meals leading up to the big day. They consist of amylose, which is a resistant starch. It is resistant to stomach acid and digestive enzymes and it reaches the large intestine essentially intact.

So it manages to escape digestion and absorption in the small intestine.

It almost behaves like fiber, providing bulk for the bowel motion and fuel for the beneficial bacteria. It also slows down the rate that stomach processes food and delays the passage of the carbohydrates with it.
To balance your gut flora and keep your belly flat and happy consider natural yoghurt, miso soup, sauerkraut, kimchi and kambucha.

5. Dark chocolate

Chocolate contains several substances that may improve mood such as phenylethylamine, which can act as a brain neurotransmitter and affect your mood and pleasure. Chocolate also contains magnesium, one of the nutrients needed for production of serotonin, the primary hormone responsible for good mood.
Zinc is essential for hormone balance and sex drive, hence the old wives’ tale of using oysters (which contain high amounts of zinc) as an aphrodisiac.befor

Dating Body Language: 5 Ways to Let Him Know You’re Interested

June 21, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

By Arionne Nettles, BlackDoctor.org Contributor

So, you’re on a date with a guy you really like, but does he know that you’re feeling him? According to new research, the answer might be in your body language — those subtle movements you may not be noticing.

“The most important part is understanding body language, but not obsessing over it,” says Jasmine Turner, matchmaker and founder of Black Match Made in Chicago. “It can confuse you if you’re looking at it the wrong way.”

According to Turner, body language is most important during the pursuit phase. Although as a more traditional matchmaker, she doesn’t necessarily encourage women to pursue their desired male counterparts, she does suggest several ways to let them know your interest. Many of these hints, she says, are naturally subconscious, especially for confident women. Men don’t give off many of these signs.

But, what if you’re not always so comfortable on dates? Here are five suggestions to let him know you’re interested:

1. Start before the conversation begins.

Turner says there are ways to flirt without actually walking over to a man. A wink, a nice stare with a smile, and doing those things in a “feminine way” can pull men in.

“As women, we’re very sensual,” Turner says. “And that’s how we express interest.”

2. Pucker up.

There’s a reason that celebs like Kim Kardashian have perfected the Instagram selfie pucker: our mouths are a big part of how we flirt.

“A little bit of openness and a little bit of pucker shows we’re interested,” Turner says.

3. Engage in hair play.

Hair is a flirting tool that many women naturally use. Touching and flipping your hair not only shows it off, but brings attention to one of your best assets.

“We do it because we’re giving exposure,” Turner says. “It says, ‘I want you to see the beauty in my face; I want you to see me.’”

4. Still keep your cool.

Be careful not to fidget too much, though, as a ton of unnatural movement can come off as being uncomfortable.

“It could also be a sign that she wants to get away, making her seem agitated or aggravated.”

5. Be vulnerable.

Exposing parts of the body like the neck, throat, or wrists may subconsciously indicate a level of trust and openness to your potential partner.

“Those areas are usually protected because they’re vulnerable,” Turner says, “But when a woman is comfortable with a man, she may show those areas, like tilting her head to expose her neck.”

When Sex Is Scary: Signs You’re In A Sexually Abusive Relationship

April 15, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

By Natasha Watson Mack, MHS, M.Ed., PhD –Blackdoctor.org

Domestic violence (DV) is not a new phenomenon. Individuals are generally aware that when one person in an intimate relationship uses tactics to control the other partner in the relationship (physical abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, stalking, etc.), it is considered DV or intimate partner violence (IPV).

However, when people think of sexual abuse they typically think of a vulnerable child being violated. Sometimes they think of a predator jumping out of the bushes and assaulting an unsuspecting victim. They rarely think about sexual abuse within the confines of an intimate relationship. But sexual abuse by intimate partners is far more prevalent than most people realize.

It can be a tactic used as a means to gain and exert power and control in a relationship that is already unhealthy and experiencing domestic violence. While sexual abuse may accompany other forms of violence in some relationships, in other relationships it may be the only form of violence.

Sexual abuse in intimate relationships often encompasses coercing, frightening, pressuring, or manipulating a partner to participate in or perform sexual actions that could include but are not restricted to:

sexual control and observation, for example telling a partner what to wear and checking their underwear for signs of a sexual encounter
unwelcome sexual fondling
forcing a partner to watch pornography
making a partner be naked when they are uncomfortable with that or unwilling
forced intercourse of any kind
humiliating or degrading a partner sexually
not allowing a partner to practice safer sex or otherwise sabotaging birth control methods

Studies show that between 50 and 75 percent of women who experience physical abuse in a relationship also experience sexual abuse from that same partner. Also, in the United States greater than 50 percent of women survivors of rape and greater than 75 percent of women survivors of sexual pressuring conveyed that the offender was a past or present intimate partner. There is also an acknowledgement that these numbers are grossly under reported. Likewise, prevalence among male victims is largely underreported.

There are unique dynamics that exist and must be considered when examining sexual abuse. Several cultures do not subscribe to the belief that forced sex acts in intimate relationships constitute rape. Gender role stereotypes can be harmful for survivors and lead to underreporting, lack of advocacy, and further violence.

Safety is paramount and safety planning may lead to more positive outcomes for survivors. Here are several tips that could ensure greater safety when one is experiencing sexual assault in an intimate relationship:

Have essential phone numbers close
Decide if you have friends you can safely tell about what you are experiencing. Try to create a code word that will alert them to call the police
Review your plan from time to time
You may not want to leave your relationship and that is ok. However, come up with a plan to leave the house in the event of an emergency (pretend to walk the dog, take the trash out)
Seek counseling when and if it is safe and you choose to do so

The following resources provide further pertinent information:

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network

Information on reproductive coercion

7 Signs You Might Be Dating An Alcoholic

April 13, 2016 By MCJStaff Leave a Comment

By Elizabeth Overstreet, BlackDoctor.org Contributor

As someone who coaches others in relationships I realize that navigating the dating scene can be difficult enough. Getting to know someone in the early stages of a relationship takes time, observation, and trial and error. When you couple this with trying to determine if the person you are dating has a drinking problem, it can make things even more difficult.

Binge drinking – having five or more drinks (for men; four or more for women) – increases the risks for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and other serious conditions.

Drinking has become a central part of the social scene, so someone who is a drinker can often hide their drinking habit. And, if the person is a highly functioning alcoholic, they will throw in other distractions, making their drinking habit one which is harder to detect. Oftentimes, however, there are red flags along the way. Blackouts, extreme mood swings and belligerent behavior are more obvious signs. Yet, there are also some signs which are more subtle.

The next time you are trying to figure it out, here are some signs that might indicate that you are dating an alcoholic:

1. Each and every event involves drinking. No matter what you are celebrating or the event you are participating in, alcohol is always a part of the equation. This can be hard to decipher in the early stages of getting to know someone because you may be meeting at bars, concerts and festival-type activities where alcohol and drinking can be part of the norm. But, if every activity you are participating in with your significant other involves partaking in alcohol, keep your eyes wide open as this is a sure sign that something might be awry.

2. You meet with your date and he/she is already drinking. If you make plans to meet up with the person you are dating and he/she is already drinking and has had several drinks, this could be part of their regular routine. While it may be understandable for a person to order a drink if they are waiting for you, if they have already gotten the party started with several drinks, this could be a sign of a deeper problem.

3. They change from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde randomly. Alcoholics, like anyone else, can still be fun, witty and intelligent. These are all character traits which can disarm you from thinking they have a problem.

It can be more complicated to detect if they are a highly functioning alcoholic. People who are highly functioning alcoholics can appear like they are functioning well at work, with friends and family which can make it harder to decipher how their drinking is impacting other parts of their life. However, if they are constantly swinging from one mood to another, up one day and then down the next day, something bigger is going on. Pay close attention to their mood swings and triggers. If there are inconsistencies in this area, something bigger is at play.

4. They don’t have enough money, except when it comes to alcohol. When you opt for a different dining experience or adventure with someone you are dating that does not include alcohol and they opt out and claim they don’t have the funds to pay unless it includes a drinking experience, this is another sign they may have a drinking problem. If their only suggestions for entertainment include those in which alcohol is easily accessible, this is another red flag. You will note that they are all in and ready to cover the entire bill in these scenarios, but may state they have limited or no funds available in situations in which the entertainment does not include a chance to drink. Drinking in moderation is fine, but if every activity you do with them has to include drinking, this is not normal.

5. Their friends and peers in which they associate are heavy drinkers, too. Alcoholics and highly functioning alcoholics tend to surround themselves with people who like to drink. This way the drinking problem looks less obvious. When everyone is drinking, it is harder to pick out someone who is an alcoholic. But, if they are constantly in the company of heavy drinkers, this is a sign that they, too, probably have drinking issues.

6. They finish other people’s drinks and aren’t discerning of what they pick to drink. At picnics, concerts, family events and the like someone who has a drinking problem will often finish a drink that is left on the table. They may joke about doing so, but this is another sign of someone who doesn’t discriminate about what they drink, but more so focused on getting another drink.

I went on a date with a guy who exhibited this type of behavior. We were attending a picnic-style concert with some friends. All of us were sharing the same wine and some mixed drinks and he kept drinking others’ leftover liquor and grabbing drinks indiscriminately. This was my red flag that something wasn’t right because he seemed to crave the next drink and ended up finishing all of the alcohol which was present versus the rest of us at the concert who were just having a couple of drinks.

7. They have a high tolerance for alcohol. In most social scenes, people will have 1-3 drinks. But, when you are with someone having a greater number of drinks, e.g., a 6-pack of beer, 4-6 drinks with no impact on them becoming buzzed or more relaxed, this is a sign they have a high tolerance for alcohol. If they keep going and the alcohol still does not have any impact, then this is a huge red flag.

Now that you know what to look for, you won’t have to second guess your intuition that might be telling you that something is not right.

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